This Is The Beat Of My Heart | A Star Is Born ✔️

9.

"I've found uh... I found some distractions. I've tried so many things before, but I think I've found some things that work." Jackson said, his eyes adverting to the wall, staring at the blue and white wallpaper of the therapist's office.

He couldn't bring himself to meet the man's eyes, as odd as it was. It was relieving to talk to someone about his problems, but it could also be quite mortifying. He wished that this wasn't the case, but it was; no matter how helpful being here was for him.

He knew that in the end, nobody was really going to judge him for what he was going through, at least not the people that mattered. Ally, Bobby(at least somewhat, Bobby still cared about his brother, he was just more harsh about things, Ally was more soft and nurturing for sure). He was just so used to being in the spotlight for most of his life, and also was used to seeing his own blood go through the same exact things, and seeing himself falling into the same habits. He couldn't help but feel some sort of guilt and shame. It was why he was even here, after all.

Talking to Ally always helped, he was glad to have her, but there were just certain things that you didn't want to say to certain people, because you knew that it would cause more of an issue than actually help anything. He was sure that everyone felt that way. He knew Ally would protest, she would tell him that she would support him no matter what, and he knew that was the case, but it still didn't make him feel any less... embarrassed. He was sure that she felt the same way admitting things to him, especially with how insecure she could be.

"Ah, that's good. Tell me about them. It's always good to find things to distract your mind from the damaging thoughts that sometimes surface." The man smiled, a genuine and sweet smile. Jackson would admit, he trusted this man, he had been to a few sessions at this point.

Each session would always build off of the previous one, Jackson would always have to update on his life in some sort of way. His therapist of course always wanted to hear positive things so that he could know that Jackson was at least ATTEMPTING to get better and make his life the best and most fulfilling that he could.

It quickly became a game of sorts for Jackson, he liked having good things to say about his life. He liked recovering and getting better. He had attempted it many times before, and had failed every single time. But now, he really told himself that this was it. He wasn't going to let himself live under the clutch of all of the problems that plagued his mind.

"My wife, she's pregnant. We're having a daughter. So, I've been puttin' together the nursery. The crib, some other things like decorations. It's actually really relaxing."

"Congratulations."

"Thank you." Jackson felt himself smile, a smile that he actually meant. "I've also been working on a song. I've been at a creative block forever, with everything going on it's been hard. But, I'm starting to write a song. About my daughter. She saved me... I guess that really broke my writer's block. I love her already, and I haven't even met her."

Jackson felt himself getting emotional and stopped speaking before the tears forming in his eyes went any further.

He and Ally's daughter, no matter what she was going to be named, was already precious to him. Not that she wouldn't be if she wasn't one of the biggest reasons that he didn't end up taking his life. Of course, he would've loved her regardless. But, that simple act(that she didn't even know she committed) just made her even more special.

He remembered sitting down at the piano, toying with the keys and creating melodies, trying to give himself ideas. He was itching to create, it had been bothering him all day. He had that nagging in the back of his mind, telling him that today he should try and do something. Only problem was, he didn't know exactly what that something was.