Knowing Xavier Hunt ✓

Nineteen - Terrible Idea

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Haley

I don't know what I'm thinking when I ask Xavier to stay over tonight. A part of it involves me not wanting him to go home to his abusive step-dad. But I would be lying if I said that was all.

Somewhere deep inside my heart, I'm hoping Xavier staying over the night would make him ... open up some more.

Yes, I'm being too bold, but considering he kissed me tonight, I don't want to take things slow. Slow scares me when it comes to Xavier. He might change his mind and take a step back again. That is the last thing I want.

I soundlessly push the door open, holding my breath and hoping dad won't find out. Pushing the door just wide enough for Xavier and I to pass through, I lead him in, his hand in mine. I tiptoe on the carpet, afraid I'm going to slip and fall in my heels. Two steps in, and I resignedly bend down and take the heels off, picking them up and sighing in relief when my bare feet touch the soft carpet.

Xavier's clammy hands in mine, I make a beeline straight for the stairs. My bare toes have barely touched the first step when Xavier tugs on my hand. I stop and look back at him, glancing briefly at my dad's closed door.  I raise my eyebrows at Xavier, giving him a questioning look.

His eyes flicker upwards, an uncertain expression on his face. He looks like he's unsure of whether to go to my room or not. What does he think? That I'll abduct him and murder him? Tie him to a chair and cut his balls off? Or is he perhaps afraid that I'll rape him?

I bite my lip anxiously, my eyes darting towards dad's room again. "Dad won't know," I reassure him.

Thankfully, he doesn't resist, and we hurry up the stairs as silent as mimes. Pushing Xavier into the room -- a little too quickly -- I close the door behind me and lock it. I finally exhale, bowing my head in relief.

We're alive.

The house around me is silent, and Xavier's soft breathing behind me is so pronounced I can clearly hear it. The only other thing I hear is my own escalating heartbeat as I sense Xavier step closer.

"Are you sure?" he whispers, his voice particularly husky and controlled. Xavier has never been this close to me, and I admit I love the feeling.

I open my mouth to answer, but no words escape my lips, my voice catching in my throat. My heart is loud, too loud, my breathing growing heavier and more uneven by the second.

My touch sensers tingles when Xavier's hand scrapes mine, as light as a feather. Goosebumps appear on the skin as his fingers trail slowly up my bare arm, and a shiver runs down my spine, my breath catching in my throat. I don't breathe, afraid of giving away how nervous I am. And when Xavier's index finger finally tugs at the thin strap of my dress, slowly dragging it down my shoulder, I'm beginning to doubt myself.

Crazily though, I'm kind of excited, forgetting everything about how 'first time' is supposed to hurt and all that stuff my friends have told me about their first experience. And when Xavier's hand slides my hair to one side and his breath fans my neck, all I want is to know he wants exactly what I want.

Would it kill Xavier to actually say something for once?

"I'm sure," I breathe, hoping it would convey to him what I want.

"I thought you'd never say so," Xavier teases, his breath tickling my ear.

"One of us had to," I attempt to joke, but my breathlessness gives me away.

It comes as a shock when Xavier spins me around. I gasp, blinking when my eyes meet his sparkling grey ones. His already glittering eyes stare intently into mine, searching for God-knows-what.