Origami Heart (Book 3 - DP series - COMPLETE)

19. Secret

His eyes are warm, pulling me in, and for a moment my thoughts flash back to the moment beside the pool. The moment I thought he was going to kiss me. The strangest part about all that was the realization that I wasn't appalled. I have a perfect image of his lips in my head and I'm not sure if it's because my eyes had accidentally lowered to his mouth at that moment or if I just know his face so well, but right now, I can't help but let my gaze swing down for half a second just to make sure they look as tempting as I suddenly remember.

Andy licks his lips and then shakes his head, seemingly unaware of my inner turmoil as he works up the courage to vocalize his own.

"There's a reason I've been back in town more these days."

I shake myself out of my thoughts and zero in on what he's just said.

"What? Why?"

He clears his throat and licks his lips again as he rubs at the back of his neck. I've never seen him this fidgety and it's making me uncomfortable. Since I'm sitting on my knees in front of him, it's easy to shuffle a little closer and slip my hands around his wrists. The movement catches his attention and he sends me a questioning look.

"Just say it," I tell him, laughing as I give his limp arms a little wiggle. "I swear it's not gonna change my opinion of you. I swear to treat you just the way I always have."

"Yeah," he nods once. "I'm kind of afraid of that."

I cock my head to the side quizzically, but he doesn't bother to explain.

"Please don't tell me you're hoping I'll hate you too," I groan, letting go of his hands and rubbing at my face in annoyance.

"What? No." He laughs at me, brows quirked in amusement. "Why would I want that?"

"Ask Mike."

Now Andy's the one cocking his head at me in question.

"Apparently, he's trying to get me to hate him," I explain. "He told me a bunch of war stories just to see if I'd think less of him. Guess I disappointed him when I didn't."

Andy's eyes narrow at me, the intensity behind his charcoal gaze making me itch to jump up and run away from this conversation.

"You still love him?"

The question rattles me and I sit back on my heels to create a little more space between us. Dropping my eyes to my fingers, I watch them fiddle with each other for a few seconds while I try to piece my own feelings together.

"Honestly?" I start to say. "I don't think so. I mean, I might, but he's just so different. I think I love the guy he used to be, but I sort of feel like I don't even know the new Mike at all. And even if I did?... no. I don't think I could ever love him the way I loved the old one."

"Why's that?" Andy asks, sitting up straighter, a playful grin tugging at his lips.

"Well," I shrug. "He's way too serious. Life is too serious as it is. I need someone more light-hearted in my life. Someone ready to live and enjoy life with me. I need someone who lets me breathe. Right now, I'm suffocating."

"Does this suffocation have to do with your secret?"

"Yes, Mr. Therapist, it does." I chuckle when he shoots me an offended quirk of his lips. "You keep asking me questions like you're digging for some deep, dark, life-altering answers from me."

His eyes narrow and he taps his chin a couple times before saying, "and how does that make you feel?"

I slap his shoulder, earning a deep laugh from him that forces a smile on my lips.