The Black Rose Diary

It wasn't me, I'm just existing

You sit and stare at what could be, the ache and hollow despair coming from within. As I gaze into your heart wrenching orbs of despair I see myself.

I sit and waited for the time to pass, to wait until the warmth came back and as I did. I wondered if it was possible it was just a lie. I couldn't decide whether or not to close myself off, would it even be fair to the ones I held dear? To cast them aside in favor of one who did not even felt the need to stay beside me?

One who listened to the words uttered by a serpent of deception rather than be true to oneself? I couldn't hold back the salty taste of defeat, the streams of weighted aching that feel from me. Rivulets of sorrow and melancholy that never dried now faded. They just flowed and stained me, keeping me forever chained by something that I couldn't grasp.

Then from the ashes of what once was was the one I had thought would never return, the light of a true happiness which could never be shaken. The feeling of hollowness gone with a whisper of words that soothed the torn aspects of my soul. I could learn to want again, learn to be one again.

And all throughout I was just here, being me and just existing.