Please, Miss (GirlxGirl) ✔️

30 | alone again, naturally

                The tune of Gilbert O'Sullivan's 'alone again, naturally' danced through my head three days later as I sat in the assembly hall, drowning out the incessant chatter from girls surrounding me. I hadn't spoken to Alex since she'd left that night, in fact I hadn't even seen her. I'd barely said a word to anyone since that night. I didn't know what was going to happen, but whatever it was, it was already painful.

"Quiet down now girls," came Mrs. Finchley's strong voice from the front of the hall as she addressed the school. It took a matter of seconds for the chatter to silence, and all eyes fixed upon the headteacher at the front. "Now we've got a few announcements for today's assembly, so I'll begin. Firstly, well done to the year twelve netball team who have made their way into the semi-finals of the tournament. Also, congratulations to Annie Rosendale and Olivia George whose poems have been published in the Young People's British Poetry book. That is a truly great achievement!" A round of applause began around me, though my own hands stayed permanently fixed in my lap. I certainly didn't have anything to clap about.

"Now, our final announcement is a bit of a sad one I'm afraid. Most of you will know Miss Bowen, our English and History teacher here at St Martha's. Unfortunately due to some personal circumstances, Miss Bowen has had to take a permanent leave of absence and will not be returning to school this year." My heart dropped into my stomach. She had really gone. A wave of rising gasps and chatter spread like wildfire, and a few moments later Mrs. Finchley called out to settle them down. "I don't want any of you to worry, Miss Bowen is fine, and I am currently finding a replacement for her role. As soon as I have found someone suitable, you will be told. For those of you in her classes, we have a substitute teacher to take her place for a short while. If any of you have any concerns, my door is always open."

My jaw was clenched so tensely to stop the tears that I was beginning to think my teeth might break. Alex had actually left me, without even saying goodbye.

Megan, who was sat to my right, turned to me and placed a hand on my leg. "Are you alright?" She whispered, her eyes wide and concerned. "I didn't know she was leaving. Did she tell you about this?"

I ignored her, not in the mood to talk. After all, she was partly the reason that Alex wasn't here. She'd questioned and questioned about the two of us, and yes I shouldn't have told her, but she shouldn't have asked. And now Alex was gone, and my life was as good as over because the only person who had ever made me feel anything real had left.

Megan removed her hand from my leg. "Evie? What's happened?"

Again, I ignored her. I gritted my teeth and ignored the rising lump in my throat, wanting nothing more than to lay on the floor and scream into eternity.

Eventually, I could take it no longer. I scrambled up from my chair, causing a cluster of heads to turn my way as I hurried out of the hall. I heard footsteps behind me, but that only quickened my pace. I didn't want to talk, I didn't want a shoulder to cry on.

I ran down the corridor and into an empty classroom, where I put my head into my hands and cried.

"Evie," came Megan's voice from behind me.

I spun around, my vision blurred from stinging tears. "Will you just do me a favour and fucking leave me alone?"

She looked hurt for a moment, but recomposed herself and took another step towards me. "I don't know what's happened, okay? But I know that you're upset—"

"Oh I'm upset? Of course I'm fucking upset! Alex has left because of you! If you hadn't kept asking me what was happening between us, I wouldn't have told you and she wouldn't have gotten scared and ran away. This is your fault, Megan!" I was shouting, and though I felt guilty seeing the hurt look on her face, I couldn't stop. "It's all okay for you, isn't it? Mommy and daddy pay for you to go to a pretty little school where you can wander around passing classes with flying colors, being everyone's best friend! Well I'm not like that. I don't have a million friends; you accounted for fifty percent of mine. But Alex was the one person that I loved, and now she's fucking gone." I sobbed the last sentence, my heart physically aching in my chest.