Broken Strings

V

"Bakit kailangan maging gan'to, Dionne? I'm very sure na I like Aki because if I'm not, I won't cry like an idiot dito sa convenient store na 'to." Sabi ko kay Dionne.

"Hayaan mo na si Camz. Tignan mo nga, obviously she's begging for Aki's attention. While you, lagi kang niyayaya ni Aki kapag may jamming kayo." Sabi ni Dionne.

"But he only sees me as his bandmate, classmate . . . bestfriend. I hate how vocal Camz is for her feelings for Aki. It makes me think na I'm a coward."

"Hindi kaya. Wag kang mag-iisip ng ganiyan. Nakakaya mo ngang itago sa sarili mo 'yong kilig eh kaya okay lang 'yan." Sabi ni Dionne.

"It's just that, Dionne, nakakababa ng self-esteem si Camila. Sobrang ganda niya, matalino, madaming friends, basta gano'n. Samantalang ako, ano bang kaya ko?"

"Kaya mong maggitara. Astig kaya no'n. Ikaw lang ang babae sa banda niyo. At sigurado naman ako na mahalaga ka talaga sa Narcissus dahil kung hindi, dati ka na nilang tinanggal dahil hindi ka nakakasali sa performance sa school."

"Thank you Dionne. Hindi ko alam gagawin ko. I'm just feeling so down."

"May bago pa ha?"

"Thijs, I can't stand this. Mahal ko pa rin si Aki. But he fell for Camz na pala." I laughed bitterly. After Camila's show in the backstage, I'm happy Thijs knows what's going on in me, so he brought me here in the shore.

"Don't laugh when in fact, you're hurt. I don't want to see you faking you smile..." Sabi niya habang nakatingin nang diretso sa dagat, "...it hurts me."

"Thijs..." 

"I like you, Zariyah. Since seventh grade. Since we were thirteen. Now we're twenty-three and I'm still in love with you like it's day one."

"I'm sorry," I bit my lower lip. I don't know what to say. I'm so busy admiring Aki for more than half of my life while this guy beside me is feeling the same pain as mine. I didn't know that he likes, loves me. I have no clue.

"It's okay. Hindi natin pwedeng pilitin ang mga taong ayaw sa atin. At mahirap magmahal ng taong di pa tapos magmahal ng iba."

And now I cried for real. I don't want Thijs seeing this hurt. He has been my best guy friend since high school. Like he's the guy version of Dionne. I even once shipped them nga eh.

"I'm very sorry Thijs. Hindi ko alam. Hindi ko alam na may nasasaktan na pala ako nang hindi ko alam. But why didn't you tell me no'ng high school pa lang tayo?"

"It won't change a thing, Iya. I knew how head over heels you are for Akio. Damn, such a lucky man."

Well I guess he didn't know. I guess he didn't notice.