pirate king (pirate!au) ➵ ateez ✔️

names

What? Her soul as collateral?

"Wait... this mistress you're talking about..." You force out, trying desperately not to hyperventilate. This is honestly getting too crazy for your brain to handle. "Who is she?"

At those words, a proud gleam comes into her eye and she straightens her back, meeting your gaze with a look you don't quite understand.

"What the mortals call the sea goddess."

At that, you do choke. You've been hearing these terms being thrown around so casually, sea witch, fortune teller, ancient magic, but hearing Eldoris say the words with so much confidence and surety seals everything for you. Magic is real. Then the meaning of what she's just said hits you like a tidal wave.

"What would the sea goddess want with me? Why does she not want me to regain my memories?" You sputter out, burying your hands in your hair as you try to make sense of it all. Have you offended the sea goddess herself in the past? Is she playing some sort of sadistic joke on you?

But Eldoris merely shakes her head once, her eyes pleading for you to understand.

"It's for your own good, Chin Hae-" She begins, but you've finally had enough. Everything in you snaps like a caving dam and anger floods through you, the wind howling in your ears furiously as the waves break against the reef barrier to swirl around your feet.

"Why? How can losing my memories possibly be for my own good? Curse the sea goddess, I'm going to freaking murder her, I-"

Eldoris' next words are as clear as the sky.

"If you recover your memories, you'll die."

Every part of your body seems to turn to ice simultaneously, blood freezing in your veins as you stare at her, unmoving. Your mind is completely silent except for that one sentence, resounding again and again in your head.

If you recover your memories, you'll die.

You can barely register Hongjoong's arms pulling you to him as he tries to reassure you, but his words simply drift past your ears like the whistling of the wind.

You'll die you'll die you'll die-

"What do you mean?" You hear your captain demand, and you desperately try to pull the shreds of your focus together so you can hear her explanation.

Eldoris stares at you gravely.

"Regaining her memories means her death." The sea witch says gently, a pitying look in her eye as she shakes her head in response to Hongjoong's question. "A degradation of the physical body that now contains her essence, to be more exact. They are trapped within the body she resides in. If you free them, her body dies too."

The fortune teller's words come back to you hauntingly.

You will never find what you so desperately seek as long as you live.

You stare at your own hands in horror. This cursed shell, this body of clay, it's the thing that's keeping you apart from your memories? For the first time ever since you discovered you're a golem, you feel truly hollow, a gaping, empty hole in your chest where your heart lies, where your memories are held.

A muffled scream breaks free from your throat and your knees feel weak, your legs crumple and you hunch over the ground with your hands tearing at your hair. You feel like you want to physically rip your brain from your skull and demand for it to spit out your memories now, because you'd rather regain your memories right this second and die, in comparison to the agony of living the rest of your life without knowing who you are.