Fish Out of Water

FOOW-Pt-18

54 *****

"Why are you so pissy?" asked Daisy as they moved around the large club, pulsing with hard beating music, making Daisy want to dance.

"I just am!" yelled Becca. Then, turning and looking down at her hands, her hair falling into her face, "I'm freaked about the play."

"You are a bad liar, especially for an actress," said Daisy.

Becca turned away, looking over the dance floor with wishing eyes, wanting Joss to burst through the door, sweep her up into her arms and kiss her. How sophomoric was that? Yearning for something that Becca was starting to think was beyond her reach, acting, love, feeling comfortable in her own skin.

"Can I have this dance?" asked Gage from behind her, and Becca turned, Gage handing her a glass. Sniffing the drink, Becca knew there was alcohol in it, and she drank deeply. "Whooo, hold on there girl, drowning your sorrows away?"

"I just want to forget...," began Becca, then added, "..how bad I was in that damn play."

"Naw, you were brilliant, all the way around, you light up when you were on the stage, I was star struck," admitted Gage. "Come on, dance with me."

Becca finished off the glass of cold liquid, grimacing, grabbing Gage's hand and pulling him onto the dance floor, intent on sweating away the thought of Joss from her mind.

55 *****

Joss brushed passed a bunch of people at the door, sliding a fifty-dollar bill into the bouncer's hand and he let her by. Her eyes adjusting to the darkness, searching, seeking and not seeing anyone. Then, out of the corner of her eye, she saw Shelby chatting with a very attractive man by the bar.

Excusing herself by a few other patrons, feeling their eyes on her, comments and whistles at her looks, and Joss groaned. She sometimes hated her genes.

"Shelb, Shelb, where is Becs?" asked Joss.

Shelby, who was very drunk, turned to Joss, and Joss made a face at the smell that drifted off her. "She and Gage baby were getting all hot and heavy on the dance floor, I think they took it back to the hotel, or might have just got it on somewhere in between here and there."

Joss's head snapped back as if she'd been slapped, Becca and Gage? Shelby was lying, she had to be, "Where is Daisy?" she then asked.

"Who knows," was the quick and slurred response.

Joss gave up, giving the older man a disgusted look and she quickly made her way to the door, excusing herself along the way, wanting, and needing to see for herself.

56 *****

Becca felt herself being pulled away by the sweet allure of the alcohol, wanting to be someone she wasn't, and playing a part in a movie or a TV show would never change the fundamental facts of who she was. But tonight, she didn't want to be Becca Hart, she just wanted someone to want her, and Gage might very well have been that person.

They were just outside of Gage's door, kissing, tugging at each other's clothes, and Becca didn't see Joss coming around the corner, staring openly at them as they spilled into the room.

57 *****

Joss walked to the front desk, asking for Wally's room, and the man at the desk pointed to where Wally was sitting.

Moving to the bar area of the hotel, wiping the tears from her eyes, the same eyes as her mother, her jaw flexing, "Wally?"

"Joss, hello, please, sit down?" he asked in his always perfect manners.

"I want the job," said Joss. "I know I have no experience, I know I'm going to make mistakes, but I know that my mother learned a lot from you. I want to make movies and TV shows that people will talk about for years to come. This will help me do this, so if the offer still stands?"

"Absolutely, I have your contact information, and I will overnight you everything you need to know. I realize you'll have to miss your graduation...," he began.

Joss waved it off, "That's the end of something, and this is the beginning of something else, something better. Something new."

"It is an adventure, I'm glad to have you on board," he said, shaking Joss's hand and Joss smiled wanly. The pain in her heart still there, not subsiding, she just knew that in a few weeks she' be gone, and Becca would be just a memory.

58 *****

"Where is Joss?" asked Danny looking around the auditorium, and there was no sign of Joss.

"Was she in your room?" asked Daisy of Becca.

Guiltily, Becca shook her head, not having been back to her room for long enough to take notice of anything. Just of her own stupidity. "I didn't see her."

"She must have hooked up with someone when she was at the club," said Shelby.

"Club? Joss was at the club?" asked Becca swallowing hard.

"Yeah, was looking for your ass, but you were already gone with Gage boy," said Shelby.

Becca groaned, tears swelling in her eyes, but no one noticed, the awards were starting, then, no one noticed Becca slipping out until they called her name for best female performance.

59 *****

"I wanted to know if any of the students had left?" asked Becca of the young woman at the front desk.

"Yeah, a few, one called a cab to the airport actually," smiled the young woman.

"Pretty, dark blonde hair, lighter streaks, bright eyes, dimples you could swim in?" asked Becca.

The girl's eyebrows shot up, "Yeah... that was her."

"Oh Joss," whispered Becca thanking the woman, Becca's shoulders sagging, feeling utterly defeated.

60 *****

Fly, drive, run, hide, and get away from the pain inside, thought Josslyn Mackenzie Wade as she got off the plane that had flown her from Portland to Presque Isle. One-way ticket to the frozen north, thought Joss ruefully to herself. Then Joss dug into her pocket, rummaged in her pocket until she found her driver's license, then the seldom-used credit card that also resided there.

Rubbing her fingers over the card, lost in thought, remembering the last time she'd used it had been to pay for Becca's Christmas present, the view from Joss's bedroom. Pain whelmed into her, sucking the breath from her lungs, making her anger that much more real.

Becca and Gage, they were destine to be together, everyone had said so, and Joss had ignored it. Ignored the inner voice that had told her it was a bad idea to bed the wanna-be-actress. Forgotten about own promise to herself about no more women. No more women, period, no matter what the world thought, every time she found herself with a woman, it was nothing more than trouble.

"Hello, can I help you?" asked the man behind the car rental counter.

Joss snapped out of her daze, "Yeah, I need a car?"

"Driver's license...," before he could finish, Joss snapped her credit card and her license on the counter. "Well, is there a specific..."

"Four wheels and a heater, preferably with doors," snapped Joss.

The man peered at her over his glasses, typing at his keyboard with jabbing fingers, grabbing her credit card, looking at the name carefully and swiping it. Half expecting it to come up stolen, but it cleared almost instantly. The paper work came and went, and Joss shuffled her feet as she began to feel badly for the man she'd treated unkindly. Signing her name on the last of the forms, "I'm sorry, Sir. I'm tired, snappy and I want to go home."

A vapid smile spread over his face, removing his glasses and looking at her, "Young lady, every one here wants to go home. Luckily, you are well on your way there."

He handed her the keys and Joss grimaced ruefully, jingling them in her hands, "I only wish finding home was that easy."

"It is, all you have to do is find yourself."