Everything Is Just Fine

The Truth Revealed

It's quite simple really.All it took was a WhatsApp status to make me realise the lie I entertained in my life.I wasn't sure what was worse though ,the lie itself or my ignorance through the process.

A week ago,Nala and Jessie tried to convince me to let it go and let Raymond explain. Explain what exactly,I asked.Raymond was getting married,but not to me,and I,in my confused state thought the best way to get an answer was to make a 3 hour unannounced trip to Lilongwe,arriving just in time for the 5.30pm traffic jam.

'How long are you staying?'My aunt Melinda asked,unamused by my impromptu visit.She had given up enduring fake pleasantries with her husband's extended family.

'Until what I came for is done,could take a month,two years, we'll see,'I replied.She cursed under her breath,and walked out of the room she had showed me to spend the night. I propped myself up on the bed and turned on my phone.Raymond had been trying to reach me. I missed and loathed him,I wondered if smashing his car,like they did in the movies would give me peace.I wondered if he would tell me it was just a silly joke he pulled with his sister or cousin.He once mentioned he has three sisters. Maybe the lady in the picture was one of them. Why did Judy have to send me the screenshot in the first place?My life before this was so much better

'Hey beautiful,is everything ok?I've been trying to reach you all day'

His latest text message stirred up the embers in my soul.

Everything is just fine ,I texted back

698 days, our second anniversary was coming up in a month.I should have known this too good to be true love was just that-too good to be true.

I made my way to his office the next day,dressed in the black floral patterned dress he liked and red block heels he got me when he last came to visit.Why did I still feel the need to please him?

'Good morning, I'm looking for Raymond,' I gave my bubbly smile at the middle aged receptionist.

'Who should I say is here?'

'Tadala,'I replied.I then sat down on one of the visitors chairs and took a deep breath.

Raymond arrived ten minutes later,his pale yellow shirt complemented his skin tone,tearing my heart even more when he attempted a smile at me

'Tadala,why are you here?' He stood in front of me,making sure his voice was loud enough for only me to hear.

'I came to congratulate you on your upcoming wedding .'

'Can we talk outside?' He cleared his throat and reached out to grab my hand.

'I can walk by myself .'I got up from the visitor's seat and stepped outside with him.

'Would you like something to eat or drink?'

'Really Raymond, I've been keeping my cool for the past 24 hours and instead of explaining yourself,that's what you say?Why am I even giving you a chance?How dare you walk into my life,lie to my face a million times that you love me,and yet you're busy planning a wedding?I should have read the signs!No pictures together, you never invited me to your place.You never told me where you work.!'

'You never asked,'he spoke back and tried to pull me away from the office blocks.

'Oh really,I never asked?I never asked my boyfriend not once,where he worked?You told me you were a consultant,providing I.T. support to companies.You told me you stay with your sister.You didn't believe in Public displays of affection, because we didn't have to prove anything to the world?Was there anything you said that was true?When were you going to tell me you're married ?After your honeymoon , your first child?'

Raymond wiped his brow and clenched his fist.'Are you done?'

'Excuse you?'

'You came all the way from Zomba, for what exactly?For proof that you're a sidechick?I thought you knew?'If you want to slap me,go ahead.Make a fool out of me around this campus,be my guest.Just so you know,there's nothing you can do to humiliate me,because Thandie my fiancee already knows.She knows about you,she knows about the others.Yes,there were others.She's probably going to suck it up the next couple of years when she hears anything, because that's how I roll.At least she gets the title of Mrs.So,unless you have anything worth hearing, let me get back to work.'

I found Nala and Jessie waiting for me by my dorm.As roommates, they were indirect beneficiaries of my relationship with Raymond.Nala was the one who introduced him to me during one of the college parties.A few phonecalls and dates after,I was his official hostess every time he came to town.

'Hey,how did it go?'Jessie asked as I unlocked the door and entered.They came in behind me and sat on Nala's bed.

'You knew,'I said,eyes locked with Nala.'You knew all along!You knew he had a girlfriend, but you still hooked us up Nala !What kind of a friend does that?You knew I was wasting my time with him,but you....you didn't seem to mind!'

'Girl I thought you knew!'Nala exclaimed

'How the hell is someone supposed to know these days?Is every man taken?Are there too many of us out there?Was I looking for recycled love?'For crying out loud, I gave myself to that guy!'I paced up and down the room.

'Tadala,do you mean to tell me that for two years straight you had no idea?'Nala asked.

I stood in our room amazed at the words coming out of Nala's mouth.I put my left hand on my mouth and with my right hand aimed for Nala's cheek but she ducked and threw her body weight on the bed.Jessie got up and tried to restrain me.

'Am I gonna get beat up over your stupidity?'Nala screamed as she scrambled through the room. 'If there is anyone you should be angry with,it's yourself.'

I walked out of the room,heart burning with rage.There was nothing else I could do except move on as if everything was just fine.