A Part Of Us

one

Isn't it weird how life could just flip over night ? And how people freak out over small things.....well for me it wasn't just a small thing, maybe at first. And every single day it grows the more freaked out I get, the more time that pass by the more uncertain I get.

Uncertain of my plan, uncertain of how I'm gonna survive, uncertain if I could manage both our survival.

That was me nine months ago, scared and weak.
But when you're loved, even when your life flips you've got people to flip with you. Help you, give you strength and helps you believe in yourself again.

Dad never gave up on me, maybe it happening after graduation helped to make it easier for him to accept. He supported me, guided me and loved us. He came with us throughout all those checkups. He would always repeat the same story after every check up...

" when you're grandfather knew about you he welcomed us, he blessed our young little family, he didn't say stupid nor called you sin, he loved you, accepted me and cherished her daughter. "
he meant I should not let this stop me from continuing my dreams but I guess those dreams has to wait, or maybe they would just stay as a dream forever because...

..... Currently I'm having this tag of war with life, I heard the doctor give my father two choices, me or my child. And all I could think of was how unfair life could get l, why now when I'm thrilled to hold my sons tiny hand. Why now when I'm eager to kiss my child's cute lips, why now when I'm ready to live again.
Tears fall from my closed eyes, pain shot through my whole being again and for the nth time I tried to stop my self from screaming. I can't stand it anymore, it's so painful! I heard my father's constant cursing " can't you do something!" He shouted, I held tighter to the railings of the bed I'm in.

I opened my eyes and took the longest breath I could on the mask they made me use for oxygen. Is this karma? Is this my punishment for all those that I have done? Then why make my child suffer with me.
" p...pa..papa..." With labored breathing I made my voice louder " pa..papa ahhhhh!!!" From having discourse with the doctor he came rushing to my side "darling just hold on, its just a bumpy ride but you'll get through it " his face shown all fear and weakness he was feeling. His eyes red and puffy, his hand trembled when it touched my head..." Just save the baby ..papa ...save my child please..." I saw him shake his head before things got blury " no nononon.... Liza no " I could still hear him crying
he held my hands and kissed their backs before caressing my cheek " remember that story when your mom told her dad about us ?   I will be forever grateful of him for giving us a chance, now I'm gonna give you that chance. So please believe you can do it, you can make it you are my only reason to live darling now please hold on and fight not only for your life but for the life of us three..!."
...I tried my best to smile ....
Then they had to literally drag him out before the doctor faced me.

" this will be hard honey, but if you really want to see your child, alive then fight....he's  been in there for too long now ...he's gotta come out ether way."

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Peace✌💕