Freddie woke me up on a particularly grey English morning. I still had my arm around him and our legs were knitted together. I looked at him and tenderly pressed my lips against his forehead, letting them stay there as he began to speak.
"Roger, where does this end?"
I separated my lips from his skin, his taste on my tongue. "Freddie, I don't know," I admitted, thoughts of Brian flooding my mind. He nodded.
Brian never left my mind. No matter what or who I was doing, no matter where I was, no matter who I was around, he was always there. However, I'd barely seen him in the last few weeks. I wasn't home very often, and when I was, Brian was most likely out or in the bedroom with ChRiSsiE.
Our album, A Night At The Opera was complete, with my lovely song on the B-side of Bohemian Rhapsody. Freddie succumbed to my pleas after a few blowjobs, and I couldn't be happier about it. That was probably the only thing I was happy about. It was very hard to get me to smile most days.
I hated that Brian caused all of this. He caused all the pain I've been suffering. Perhaps it is my fault for getting myself wrapped around his long, slender, troublemaking finger; he never forced me to feel anything. But the way he made love to me, the way he held and caressed me with such affection and care. The soft look he had whenever he locked eyes with me. I hated him. I hated him, but I craved him so badly. It was no longer purely sexual for me, and I despised that fact.
I was so incased in my thoughts that I only came to when Freddie spoke, not even noticing that he had been running his fingers through my hair. "Roger," Freddie started with a hint of nervousness. Once he knew he fully had my attention, he continued. "I met someone. His name's Jim, Jim Hutton. I really like him and I don't want to fuck things up; they're going so smoothly."
"So basically you're saying that we should end whatever's going on?" I chewed my bottom lip. He hesitated before nodding.
"Please don't be mad," He said quietly.
"I'm not. I'm happy for you, really. I must meet him to make sure he is qualified to care for my dear Freddie." I forced a smile on my face. I was truly happy for him. But I felt more alone than ever.
He enveloped me in a bear hug which I returned, burying my face in the crook of his warm neck. We sat there, enjoying each others touch before the Brian May walked in.
