To All The Peter Kavinsky's I've Loved Before

chapter eleven

To be honest I really don't know where to begin. Life here got far more complicated than it was before, life got harder. Things just create its own twists as if things aren't already crazy enough.

"How's Ginger doing?" Peter asked, we sat above the roof of my house, just right outside my window where we've got the view of the stars and the lights of the rest of the neighborhood, it's beautiful

I shrugged since she really hasn't had the chance to reach for her phone or the fact that my own best friend is trying to push away everyone that cares about her. First Greg, now me. They're not broken up, she's just going through a rough patch where she really thought that there was a human forming in her body when really it was just an unborn twin of hers where it makes you think you're pregnant, even says positive. She was ready to have a baby, ready to conquer all the obstacles that life would throw at her but knowing this was far less as a blessing, it's as if she'd rather have a baby at this point.

"You should try and reach out to her, she needs you" He pulled me in closer as I gripped my side of the blanket tighter, my head leaning against his chest hearing for his heart that beat a little bit faster and I like that, makes me feel that I know how he really feels about me.

"I've tried two times and she broke two vases and a lamp, thankfully she has bad aim or I'd be missing a head and a couple toes" I chuckled, making bad situations into a laughable moment so it wouldn't be all too serious

"You can't give up on her, she wanted that, she was ready for it and all of it- just taken away with a blink of an eye. They say third time's a charm right? So try and bring everything she loves, do something for her. She needs someone Kara and that's you." Peter made sense, but G just made it feel like all of the things that's happening to her should be dealt with alone and that's the problem she shouldn't have to carry such heavy weight when other people are there with her. I've been a bad friend, saw things my way when I should've been filling myself in her shoes and understanding.

Nights like these remind me that there are more to life than expensive dinners and overpriced gifts. It's the simple things that matter, just a conversation, the presence of one of the people that you love will mend whatever's broken but it won't fix you, not unless you want it to. Everything is a two way street, you always have to put  effort in everything you do in life and that's never going to change. Effort is everything.

"That's why I keep you around" I jokingly said as I nudged him, Peter rolled his eyes but still proceeded to kiss my forehead and then a quick peck on the lips

"why?" Peter asked, I glared at the fact that he's being another clueless guy who can't take any sort of hints and it drives me insane. Do we really have to explain ourselves more than once to get the picture?

Rolled my eyes followed by a deep long sigh "You keep me going, you help me. You're you around me and not someone else." It's hard to explain but everything about him is good, the stupid silly fights never last because one of us always cave in and apologize even if it wasn't our fault and then we'd laugh it out, saying how stupid it was of us to even get in that fight.

I care for Peter because he cares about my relationships with other people, he wouldn't let me, let them go after I've helped build that bond of friendship. He won't let me give up on anything and that's why I want to keep him with me for a very long time, he knows me. He understands me, he is a package that I'll keep on taking!

I heard a bang coming from Kia's window. "Shut the fuck up. Unlike you guys I need sleep, beauty isn't done overnight" She growled, maybe we're being a little bit too loud or maybe my sister's just focusing on the conversation rather than focusing on her sleeping schedule.

Peter and I looked at each other, laughed before he whispered for us to go back in and sleep it off. I sneak him in on days my mom is here or my two brothers but that's like a 1 in 7 chance so he sleeps over all the time, it's like he lives with me or I live with him. I don't know if that means my family has shitty communication issues or they're just too busy for us, but their busy schedules makes things better for the both of us, less sneaking and more bribing our siblings to keep it quiet.

"Will you be here when I wake up?" I asked, sometimes he'd leave early in the morning but to save me the worry he'd write cute notes

"Do you want me to?" Both snuggled up in my pastel pink duvet, both staring at the ceiling or at least I am

My gaze turned toward him "Doctor Stilinksi agrees"

"The other Stilinski wouldn't and I think you know who that specific person is"

"Stiles won't be home until two days from tonight. Still a little shaky on that, build a stronger relationship, my brother still thinks that I have abandonment issues with the whole under attack thing..." I reminisced at the worst day of my life, I quit therapy but Peter's been convincing me because we'd both wake up to my screams of that recurring nightmare. PTSD is tougher than I am.

He didn't say another word but instead he just pulled me in closer. Whispered a couple things in my ear as I tried to close my eyes, giggling. If moments like these were easily captured and stored, I'd do it in a heartbeat so I can look over it and know that I don't deserve less, but more and Peter is more.