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<10> Once Emotionless Always Emotionless

A loud scream came out of my mouth. I couldn't stop it. It was new, I didn't know how to deal with it yet.

Joker's eyes lit up and his smile was joyful. "Wow Birdie that was beautiful!" He cheered as he went to get a second knife.

I tried to move away from him, all the thoughts in my head either fearful or painful. But the table and the restraints made it impossible. Oh gosh I couldn't leave. I couldn't leave I was stuck and I'm gonna die. And OUCH THE KNIFE.

Joker seemed to be pleased with my fear as he cut open my costume, revealing my bare chest. The clown made a 'ooh!' noise. Happy to see he had 'canvas' to leave his mark on.

He smiled at me before slowly dragging the knife over it. I whimpered, and tears began to form in my eye as he made little signs across my chest.

He left words like 'property of the Joker' or 'Joker was here' even a few 'ha ha ha's. Along with little symbols like smiley faces.

He kept going and going, I kept crying and crying. It just hurt so bad, it was like fire as he slowly ripped open my skin.

He didn't stop. He didn't stop until there wasn't a spot on my skin that wouldn't have a scar. I wanted to die. I wanted to curl in on myself and disappear and never feel anything ever again.

But he wasn't done. He wasn't done. He came back with his knife and moved to my legs. Making quick shallow cuts that may or may not scar. But he wasn't even paying attention to them. He just stared at me as I screamed and cried. His smile never leaving his face.

I don't even know what I did. I could barely hear myself beg for him to stop over my cries. But no matter how much I begged, he didn't stop, he only seems to do more.

After my legs were run red with blood, Joker stopped. I kept crying. The pain didn't stop! Why didn't it stop! He stopped so shouldn't it have stopped!?!

I screamed and cried again. Confused and mad that it wouldn't stop. Joker just kept laughing and laughing as he watched me.

"Well birdie. I won't kill ya. You see if I did that I wouldn't have my favorite play thing anymore! So I'll call your batdad once I'm sure I can get away. He'll save ya, and I'll be at home, remembering how wonderful your scream is." Joker smiled as he set down his knife.

I couldn't even process what he said. My head was throbbing, my throat was sore, and I was just about ready to cut off my legs and torso.

But the thing was, Joker hadn't made the cuts deep enough for me to die from blood loss. He just made it so they wouldn't heal quickly and so they'd scar. He made every cut just deep enough for me to experience the awful pain.

The most important wound was the one in my shoulder, the knife was still in it and it was bleeding a lot.

Joker grabbed the communicator from my belt and pushed some buttons to alert Batman. But before he sent out the signal he set it down. He came over to me and undid the restraints, then called Batman.

The clown jumped onto a motorcycle, which had to be stolen, then drove away. I curled in on myself and the wounds screamed in agony. I tried to get comfortable but it was useless so I just continued to curl into a ball.

And I cried. I cried and cried and cried. It hurt. All it did was hurt.

There was a ker-thunk noise somewhere. I didn't have the strength to look towards it to figure out what it was.

But after a second I heard someone running towards me.

It was Wally. It was Wally. It was just Wally.

"Oh Rob. . ." He breathed out as he got a full look of my body. I didn't uncurl myself.

Wally started leaning towards me, I quickly scurried away from his touch. But that majorly failed as I ended up falling off the table. Making the wounds send a hot flash of pain through my body.

I cried out again and started sobbing. Wally walked over to me slowly and simply squatted down to reach my level.

"It's ok Robin. It's ok, no ones gonna hurt you it's ok." He said softly. I knew he wouldn't hurt me, I knew he wouldn't. But I didn't want him to touch me it would hurt. But I really wanted him to touch me, to somehow make it better.

I moved my hands up to my head, everything was so confusing. I started crying some more, why was it all so confusing!

I heard Wally start to move closer to me. He slowly lifted me up and just held me. He put his hand in my hair and just started running his fingers through it.

It felt good. It felt good. I missed that.

I missed being able to enjoy a feeling. I leaned into him and he started rubbing my back gently. That felt good too.

And we just sat there. Me in pain, confused, angry, sad, glad, enjoying a feeling, and hating all touch.

Him, just rubbing my back and hair, doing all he could to make me feel better.

And we just sat there.