Perspicuous (J.HALE)

07

"I was really angry," I said. "When he first left."

"I remember."

My cheeks heated. In the first few weeks with Ethan, I'd taken to texting Jasper whenever my sanity was on the brink of disappearance—which was a lot.

"But I don't feel angry right now," I said, frowning. "I thought I'd want to shout at him but letting go of him after a hug just now, like, physically hurt me."

He didn't say anything for a moment. "It's easier to be angry at someone when they're not there."

I cocked my head. "Sometimes. My mother, however, I'm angry at regardless of her whereabouts."

He chuckled. "The rule has exceptions."

In the moonlight, his skin really did look like marble. The air was chilled, but I wasn't cold, the goosebumps on my arms completely unrelated to the temperature. His eyes—vats of molten amber—glinted in the partial shadow of the wall, reminding me of a cat in a dark garden, staring out of the gloom. 

He straightened up slowly, pushing off of the wall and rising to his full height. His hair fell from where it had been tucked behind one ear, brushing the line of his jaw, and his lips parted ever so slightly. He was moving with caution and slowness that made my stomach both flutter and ache. His carefulness with me was sweet, but I wanted him closer. His lips touching mine flashed through my mind hundreds of times in the few seconds it took him to reduce the gap between us to a few centimetres.

I could tell he was testing it. He was checking my emotions and reactions to each move he made, then double-checking, and probably triple-checking.

The closeness was good. I wanted more of it.

I pushed myself up onto my tiptoes, pausing a moment to give him the chance to pull away. When he didn't, I kissed him.

It was soft, at first. Gentle and careful, from both of us. I pulled back for a second, waiting to feel the red-hot hands and for my skin to curl and bunch, or the nausea to hit, but it didn't. He studied my eyes and my expressions with such attention, prepared to create distance between us immediately, if necessary. But it wasn't necessary.

We weren't so careful the second time.

"What if your family hears us?" I breathed.

"They'll be too distracted with the party," he whispered.

My mind went blurry as his hands slid from my hips to the small of my back.

"Just don't think too loud," he mumbled against my mouth. "Edward's just around the corner."

I was too preoccupied to laugh.

He let me direct him to the wall and my stomach fizzed as I pushed him against it. One of his hands settled on my neck, just below my chin with his thumb brushing my jaw, and the other slid down my back. The force behind my tug on his hair caught us both by surprise, and I was lightheaded by the time I pulled away again.

"People will start to wonder where we are," he said softly.

I swallowed, taking a deep and steadying breath. "I should call Emily."

Unfortunately, when either of us spoke our lips brushed together, and we ended up tangled for another few minutes or so. He kissed down my jaw and toward my neck, tilting my head to rest in his hand as his lips burned the skin of my throat with their chill, and I could barely breathe.

Then there was a shout.

"Jake-

"Listen to me, Bella!"

"Let me go!"

We were away from the wall in an instant, wordlessly moving toward the commotion. Edward was stood between Bella and Jacob, a mediating hand outstretched and his tone low and soothing. Jacob was shaking—juddering like he'd been doused in freezing water.

"Jacob, calm down, alright?"

"Are you out of your mind? Huh?" the Quileute demanded. "You'll kill her!"

"What's going on?" I asked. As I moved to take a step forward, Jasper's cool hand took mine and gave a gentle, but insistent, pull. I glanced at him over my shoulder and hesitated at the caution in his eyes.

Seth appeared, seemingly from nowhere, and grabbed Jacob's arm. "Walk away, Jake."

He tried to shrug the young boy off—I'd only met him a couple of times, but he had kind eyes and always smiled at me when I visited the Reservation—and when he didn't yield, he threw him off his back. I jumped at the heavy thud of Seth's body hitting the ground, and suddenly Quil, Embry and Sam were there. 

 "Enough, Jacob," Sam barked, yanking him away from Edward as Seth scrambled to his feet.

"Stay out of this, Sam," Jacob snapped, chest heaving.

"You're not going to start something that we'll have to finish."

"She'll die!"

I glanced at Bella, that same queasy expression that she'd worn before the ceremony paling her slim face. I forced myself to remain stationary, begrudgingly aware that any further involvement from me wouldn't solve anything and clung to Jasper's hand.

"That's not our concern, anymore," Sam said.

"Sam," I said, brow crinkling in offence.

He met my eyes, rigidity in his face that made it clear he'd meant what he said. I recoiled slightly, taken aback by the resolution in his eyes.

Jacob, chest heaving and eyes gleaming, turned on his heel and hurtled off into the woods, shedding his clothes as he barrelled for the treeline. I did step forward then—a futile gesture—and watched him disappear, chest panging. All the other wolves slinked off in the same direction, shooting suspicious glances at the Cullens and avoiding my eyes. I whirled around, looking at Bella.

"What on earth was that about?"

She looked as if she was going to vomit. Edward looked mildly more tortured than usual.

"I just want to enjoy the rest of my wedding," she said softly.

And then she walked away.

I watched her go, ivory skirt trailing behind her and loose curls bouncing around her ears, and was momentarily frozen. Edward caught up with her in a blink, but Jasper stayed. He stood still, not looking at me, but he waited until I could comprehend what had just happened. I turned back to look at the trees, slender and secretive, lips parted in indecision.

I was furious. Jacob had only just come back—what had Bella said that had made him so angry? Had Bella even done anything? She was the mildest person I'd ever met; it was hard to believe that she could rouse anything other than tepid frustration. And now that Jacob had gone again, was that the last I would see of him? Would he miss even more of Ethan's childhood? For someone that I'd only known for a few months, I was inconveniently attached. I needed him back more than I realised.

"Do you want to go dance?" Jasper asked, after a little while.

I let out a sigh. "Yes."