Things That are Blue {{On Hold till Futher Notice}}

The Memories of the Repressed

I was dropped the shell when I saw her. She had diagonal cuts all the way up her arms and a tsunami of blood was splashing on the floor below her. She had tears in her eyes and anger on her face. I couldn’t read very well at 5 but I could see My Name on her arm along with my birthday.

“Kenny! Your Bleeding!” I cried I ran to hug her legs but she slapped me away.

“It’s all Your Fault You Little Cunt” She snapped back. I could see the anger boiling up inside her from somewhere dark and Cold.

“Why Kenny?” I said crying. I didn’t want to be the reason why Kenny was hurt I loved her more than anyone in the entire world I loved her even more than Mommy and Daddy….

“It’s your fault he doesn’t love me anymore…It’s your fault that people hate me! If it wasn’t for you I would have Graduated by now and Me and Shane would’ve been living in a cute little house in the city all by ourselves! Why did you have to come along and mess everything up?!” She screamed at me .

“I didn’t do nothing Kenny” I was crying my eyes out…Why was she saying this stuff about me? What did I do? I thought I was a good girl…Kenny always told me to be a good girl in school for her….and I tried every day to be good for her… I always Ate my snack even if I didn’t like it….. I always went to sleep during nap time and I never hit Ryan even though he spit on me outside.

“You little bitch!” She snapped walking towards me. She crushed the shell with her boot as she got closer and closer to me.

“NO KENNY!” I wailed trying to get out of her path. It was no use though….She grabbed my arm and slung me on the floor. She starting hitting me with her fists and each blow hurting more than the last. Despite my screams she just kept hitting me harder and harder “I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!!!!” she screamed hitting me harder. Her hands that had held me so close to her That had time made me feel safe and protected were hurting me were now deadly weapons I tried to get away but I couldn’t she had me in too tight of a grip…..My Ribs ached from her constant hits and my eyes burned from the tears that wouldn’t stop coming Every time I looked up I saw Kenny’s angry face staring back at me So I kept my eyes closed scared to look at her again….It hurt so bad… more than when I fell off my big girl bike onto the pavement….I couldn’t understand why she was doing this I loved Kenny sooo much! She wasn’t just my big sister she was my best friend….I loved her with every bone in my body but I guess she didn’t love me back…..

After what seemed like forever she stopped…..I opened my eyes just a peek to look at her….. I saw her staring back at me breathing heavily she had whisps of hair in her face…..She brushed them away and looked stunned like she was looking at me for the first time….

She started crying again….

“Oh Duckii! I’m sooo Sorry!” She said bringing me close to her chest. I jumped out her arms and tried the best I could to run out of her room. I kept tripping over my feet and falling on my stomach that was already hurting bad enough. I ran into my room and shut the door hard I dashed into my closet and hid underneath my clothes where she couldn’t find me……I tucked my knees into my aching stomach and cried into themWhy did Kenny do that to me?! I loved her….Not anymore….But I did I loved her sooo much! Sooo Why would she hurt me soo bad?...... I heard footsteps going into my room…..I tried to stop crying so she wouldn’t hear me and hurt me even more than she already had but I couldn’t I kept making these weird little hiccupping noises and she went straight to the closet…..I saw her boots before I saw her….and then she kneeled down so we were face to face. She tried her best to smile through her tears but it came out as a light grimace.