The Acclaimed Diary of Ysabelle Mirabilia

VIII Friends in Love

 I was constantly confused with all the circumstances surrounding me, after my visit with Desi;   although her poem was an inspiration to me…I was still hoping and praying that a miracle would  occur between our relationship – my dearest and me….

    Unexplainable circumstances happened all of a sudden, that I felt I have no control over it.  These circumstances, notwithstanding my relationship with Rafael, were the ones which I think I’ve ignited as well.  Jestere wouldn’t speak to me; I know he’s torn apart by loving me before and by loving my best of friends – Melinda.  On one hand, Melinda hasn’t got the courage to speak to me again about Jestere’s feelings, or even her feelings for him. I know I started this “mess”, as people might call it, although I am quite sure that very soon…God will find a way “to bridge the gap” or mend the wounds that was somehow created, between the knowledge of loving someone and another one loving you in return.

    I felt as though an outsider between my two friends.  I’d like to bridge the “gap” between them but somehow they wouldn’t let me “through” to their hearts…as if a big barricade of soldiers were placing huge barriers between them and between all of us.  It was as if I was only a silent witness on the days that passed by, since I came back to France and tried to ask what happened next….

    “I don’t really like to talk Ysa, not right now, please.” Melinda spoke in a low voice.  She was packing her things and was taking her “sweet time” lovingly caressing all her belongings, and mildly placing them in her suite case.  I looked at her now with tired eyes, as I again reiterated my point of her clarifying Jestere’s side of the coin.

    “Jestere needs to know you’re leaving…Mel, please try to understand….  Yes I know people will talk but inspite of all that gossip, don’t ever give up your LOVE for him – I know I clearly did!” I exclaimed dramatically, then, unexpectedly she countered with….

    “YES, and you did that because of ME!  So, I should be grateful to you, is that right?  Why the HECK should I BE GRATEFUL?!  He doesn’t LOVE me, he still LOVES ……..YOU!  I HATE YOU, Ysabelle!  I was your friend, but why did you do this to ME? WHY do I have to suffer, while you communicate with, YOUR DEAREST, YOU don’t care about me and JESTERE!  Everytime I see him, I can still see his Love for YOU…and I envy you! WHY do you do this to ME? WHY?!” She cried aloud that time…I know this was because she was hurting inside, but when will this all end?  I know I must end this once and for all. That time, I knew I did.

    “You know I do NOT Love Jestere as much – as YOU do!”  I simply countered.

    “You always say that!”

    “And you don’t believe me?  Mel, I know Jestere loves you…maybe more than he loves me… that is if he would admit that to himself –”

    “MEN simply won’t admit to the truth of their feelings.” Melinda eased up a bit on her bed, beside her suite case.

    “You mean you’re prejudiced all of a sudden.  Mel, I keep telling you the truth…Jestere’s as confused as you are….” I went to her side.

    “Then, there’s NO HOPE for the both of us!  If he’s going to GIVE UP that easily…Ysa, I’m warning you not to come between us again.  I don’t like to see him. Not right now.  I just want to be by myself.  I want the time to think things through, and I…am…I’m sorry, Ysa!” Then she cried with all her might, as I gave her my shoulder to cry on.  I know I made things difficult for all of us…me, her and Jestere.  Heck, I don’t have any choice on the matter.  Although my anguished heart is still crying out for my one true love’s messages of hope, I still felt there would be more gaping holes in my heart if I wouldn’t do a thing to solve my “friends in love” problems, or rather, my friends with a deeper understanding of what truly LOVE could bring in your heart.