Ugly

Chapter 1

Estelle's POV

You know how in movies the main character somehow miraculously looks like some type of goddess after stepping out of bed? With the slightly messy hair that somehow still looks sexy? Face looking pristine and perfect upon their shoulders?

This is not a movie.

I look like I just got hit by a truck, and after the truck hit me, it backed up and rammed into me again just for fun. My hair is a matted mess, my clothes are all unfathomably wrinkled, and don't even get me started about my face. My face looks rather unsavory when I haven't just gotten out of bed.

Moving away from the mirror, I strip from my clothes to take a shower. I let out a sigh when the hot water touches my skin. I've been here for about a week with Jane, Eric, and this new intern called Darcy, I like her, she's blunt like me. Jane and I just happened to be partnered up in college for a research project, and we've stuck together ever since Even after 5 years, I still have trouble calling her my "friend". But then again, I haven't called anyone that in years.

I have had serious trust issues ever since I was fifteen and shit went down. Not to mention that I am really bad with people. I can manipulate them, lie to them, but I just can't seem to socialize with them much at all.

After spending about 25 minutes staring at the shower wall I finally shut the water off. After I actually get out of the shower, I put on my , and make sure I don't glace at the mirror. I don't need to spend another hour being depressed over how I look.

I walk out into the living room/ kitchen area with my Ipod and sit down at my desk. putting my earbuds in, I turn on my playlist.

With a sigh, I start doing my calculations, ignoring everyone else in the room.

Jane and Darcy are drinking coffee and discussing what we are going to do today, while Eric sit's quietly reading a newspaper. After about fifteen minutes, I'm done with my calculations that probably would have taken anyone else, including Jane, a couple of hours to do.

Silently, I get up from my overly comfortable chair and walk to the fridge.

" You know drinking that crap every day is really bad for you?" said Jane as I grabbed a can of Redbull.

"I'll be fine," I say in reply. She shoots me a look but I could care less. It's not like she cares about me much anyway. She probably only keeps me around because she knows that I can to do math much faster than her.

"Uh huh, and who's gonna pay your medical bill?" said Darcy with that look.

"Look, this stuff doesn't bother me," I answer as I plop myself down at the table.

"Whatever you say, Estelle, ' Jane said before averting her gaze back to her eggs.

"Anything interesting happening tonight?" I asked to break the uncomfortable silence that just settled in.

"I thought that we could head out into the desert and see if we can see anything," said Jane.

"Sounds good, and judging by the calculations that I just made, we probably will," I replied.

"Wow, you finished them already?" Darcy asks.

"Yup, a little while ago actually." I say with a nod.
"Ugh, if I were as fast as you I'd be done with college already." she complains with a groan.

Even though I didn't really show it, her compliment warmed my heart.

Sipping on my red bull, I couldn't help but wish that there was vodka in my drink. When I get drunk, normally I can't remember any of my troubles and worries. It's great.

I know I have some really bad tendencies, but they help me to cope. I haven't cut my arms in a long time because I drink, so it helps. Nobody knows that I used to do that, and I plan to keep it that way.

They don't know a lot about my past actually.

Jane and Darcy are now bickering about something pointless again. Wonderful. I sigh and get up, taking my drink and walking back to my room. I sit on the couch and sip on my drink while listening to music again.