Polaroids and Postcards | ✔️

Chapter 41: Hands Touching Hands

He was tiny, each of his little features almost microscopic to my eyes. His eyes were clammed shut and his lips were pouted in an expression very familiar to one Grant made when he was a kid. But other than that, the baby looked like any other baby-kind of like a little alien that wasn't finished developing.

"Do you wanna hold him?" Grant asked, excitedly.

My hands suddenly started to sweat and I tried to not imagine what would happen if I somehow screwed this up and dropped their baby or something. But part of me still wanted to hold the kid, so I nervously nodded, trying to remain steady in my wheelchair.

Grant beamed and carefully passed the baby into my arms, taking special care to support the head as he did so. I'd never seen him so proud in all my life.

The baby was so light, I was shocked at first. He was almost like a baby doll, but he was warm and cozy up against my chest, so I snuggled him a bit closer. Up close, he was a bit cuter than I'd given him credit for before. And he smelled so good!

"Wow," was all I could manage to gasp in awe.

Grant and Gracie's smiles were so large, I thought they would hurt their faces. They looked at each other knowingly and shared a silent, communicative moment.

"So, Jason..." Grant began, clearing his throat. "We wanted to tell you something."

I glanced up from the baby, barely hearing him. "Yeah?"

Gracie looked as though she was about to burst from joy. "We wanted you to officially meet your nephew..."

"-Jason Garrett Lovett," Grant finished with a chuckle.

"But we're calling him Jay-Jay, so you don't have to worry about any mix-ups!" Gracie interjected. "But his birth certificate says Jason."

"And he obviously got my middle name," Grant added. "What do you think?"

I wasn't sure how to express how I felt at the moment, but it was a good feeling-a mixture of honor and pride, along with total surprise and bewilderment. Even though I didn't have words, my body seemed to react perfectly. A few happy tears welled up in my eyes and I nodded.

"That's a great name," I pointed out, smiling through the tears. "Where the heck did you come up with that?"

"We couldn't choose a name, believe it or not," Grant shrugged. "And you're a decent brother, so we decided to give him your name by default."

"You're lucky though," Gracie giggled. "Grant wanted to revoke the right when you weren't answering all of his calls.

I chuckled, my smile finally taking over my entire face and I looked back down at the baby... Jay-Jay.

While I thoroughly enjoyed this moment and tried to love it for what it was, something put a small damper on the joy I was feeling. As much as I loved my family, new members included, and as much as I wanted to live in the moment, I couldn't stop thinking about how much I wished Della could be here to savor this special moment with me. She would've been able to express all of the happy feelings and thoughts I was having right then without effort. She would've been there to snap photos to capture the memories for the years to come. She would've been able to let me share my family with her.

I can't be me alone anymore, Della. I thought, my heart aching.

I need you. I want you. You're the glue that holds me together. I want to be that for you too. You drive me crazy, but in the best possible way. Moments like these, I want to share them with you, forever. Please don't give up on me now.