Why Me? [an Akatsuki Cat Story]

Chapter 2

I peer into the shed, afraid of what I might see, when I hear the unholy sound again. Only being next to the shed makes it extra loud.

"HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK, WHAT KIND OF DEMON IS MAKING THAT FUCKING NOISE!" I yell clutching my head in pain.

Seriously, that was the loudest thing I've ever had to hear.

After I recover I walk into the shed, too sick of this sound's shit to be stealthy. I am expecting to see, I don't know, a ghost or a serial killer, but what I see almost makes me faint. From shock. Shock, because it is completely unexpected. COMPLETELY. UNEXPECTED.

I look down at ten furry little kittens, each one a crazy colour. The kittens look up at me with shock, they obviously weren't expecting to see a teenage girl. Well, I wasn't expecting to see a bunch of kittens.

I look around on the benches, where a couple of the kitties sat, when I notice a lack of... Stuff. My eyes move to the floor, where a whole bunch of shit lay broken on the floor. So that's what made that hellish noise; they had pushed almost EVERYTHING off of the bench.

It took me a while to process what happened. Ten strange kittens are in my shed, breaking everything. Not that I care what's in the shed, but my landlady certainly does.

"What the fuck happened in here?" Seems to be the first thing that escaped my mouth.

I am answered by a few mews. Hehehe. Few mew. Hehe.

Ok, I'm good.

The orange kitty is approaching me, meowing away like there's no tomorrow.

"I'm sorry little guy, but I don't speak kitty." I say, reaching down and petting him. He purrs slightly, then stops suddenly. I chuckle lightly, then gesture for the kittens to follow me.

'Why the fuck did I just do that? They're kittens, for gods sake. It's not like they could possibly understand human gestures.' I think to myself.

Still I look behind me after walking out to see the little kitties understood and, to my surprise, they padded out slowly. A silver cat with beautiful magenta eyes is attacking a black one with an adorable orange swirl on his face.

I stop in my tracks, causing some of the kittens to run into each other, and bend down towards the silver kitten. I try to pick him up to scold him for pouncing on the black kitten, but this only caused him to move his brutal attacks to me. More accurately, my face. A small squeal escapes my lips as I roughly push him away.

"Okay, little kitty. You're going to stop clawing at me and, more importantly, stop attempting to murder your fellow kitten kin." I speak to the kitten, whose fur is almost as white as snow. However, my words went unheard by the kitten (I mean, it's a cat. It can't understand words and shit, it's a kitten not a human) as he starts to swipe at my hands while mewing. Loudly.

I let the kitten take his rage out on me, figuring its best to just leave him be, and after he's finished having his little hissy fit I look down to my hands, only to see red lines covering them and blood pooling on the ground beneath.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT! YOU, LITTLE KITTY, ARE GOING IN THE FUCKING NAUGHTY CORNER! I DONT CARE IF YOURE ONLY A FUCKING CAT, BUT IM EXPECTING AN APOLOGY!" I yell to the kitten as I hastily get up and run into the house.

~

After I have washed my hands and stopped the bleeding, I go to get the first aid kit. Setting it down next to my Oreos and milk, I open it up and start to get to work on bandaging myself up. Once I have successfully wrapped up my left hand I glance to my right to see that I have an audience. The kittens have managed to follow me into the house and seat themselves next to me without me noticing. I simply start bandaging my right hand, grumbling about 'shitty ass kittens' under my breath.

Once my hands were tended to and the first aid was packed up, I turned to the kittens. Most of them seem content with just being there. Some seem to be glaring at the black kitten with the orange blotched face as he prances around, completely oblivious to his surroundings. I carefully observe as he chases his own tail, mewing happily, as if he can't even remember almost being shredded like paper just a few minutes earlier. I reach down and picked him up, making sure I don't hurt him, and hold him loosely on my lap.

"Awe, you're adorable! And so energetic! It's like you live off of nothing but candy." I say, slightly jealous. I mean, come on, who wouldn't want to eat countless amounts of candy every. Single. Day? Exactly.

Some of the other kittens seem to snicker at my comment. Maybe he does only eat candy? The thought quickly leaves my mind as the kitten jumps out of my grasp, not liking being confined, and continues to run around the living room.

For the first time I take a good look at all the kittens. They each have their own unique fur and eye colour/pattern, and there appears to be only one female. She's a hard bitch, being able to live with so many men. She has gained my utmost respect, and she's only a kitten. I pick up the closest cat to me, which just happens to be a blonde furred cat with a small tuft covering one of his bright, blue eyes, much like a fringe.

I watch as he squirms around in my grip, mewing wildly. This only causes me to grip him tighter so he can't move as much, and 'tsk' at him.

"If you don't calm down, you're going to go into the naughty corner with the other little asswipe kitten." I say with a bit too much innocence in my voice. I glance over to the white kitten, who seems to have taken a liking to my vile language, and smirk at him. 'Oh, don't think I've forgotten your punishment, you little shit'