Entangled | Zayn Malik

Chapter Forty-Three

I've lost count of how many hours have passed. I stopped keeping track of the time when the clock I was burning my gaze into suddenly turned blank. It was like the black of the hands and the eggshell of the walls started to blend together, and that's when I knew I had to look away. Almost as if someone was sending me some sort of sign - nothing to see here. Direct your gaze elsewhere. Stop giving me all of your attention, it won't help.

Night has fallen outside, visiting time has ended, shifts have rotated and here we are still.

My energy is low. It's on the brink of completely running out and flatlining. My eyes are stinging and I desperately want to rub them, but I know if I do that my brain will think I'm closing my eyes to sleep, and I'm afraid I'll fall too deep and miss something.

This one nurse keeps coming by - I think her name is Harriet. She looks to be about thirty years old. She can't tell me what's going on with Zayn, all she keeps telling me is that I need to rest because I'm in recovery. I know she's only doing her job but she's starting to get on my nerves.

I've told her numerous times I'm not moving until I know that he's okay and that I can see him, and every single time she storms off with a face like a slapped arse. Then ten minutes later she comes back and says the same thing.

I'm considering pretending I don't speak English anymore, that I just suddenly forgot how to do so. But then again she'd probably want to take me for a brain scan or something so I'd better not.

My mum and dad came back with food for us last night but left again shortly after, promising they'd be back today.

Clara nudges me with her elbow and quickly stands up and I follow where her eyes are looking. Zayn's doctor is walking towards us. This is it. This is where I find out if my life is ever going to be the same again.

My heart is beating rapidly as he approaches us with my whole life in his hands. Whatever he says will either make me or break me. Will he shatter the remains of my heart into a million pieces in front of my eyes? Or will he glue the already broken pieces back together? I tune everybody out as I stare intently at his mouth, watching as the words leave it.

"Surgery was a success. He's awake." I hear him say and my entire world snaps back into focus.

I can physically feel the worry and doubt and dread disintegrating inside of me as the words replay in my mind. He's awake.

"He's stable and is now on the road to recovery." He tells us and now it's sinking in. He's okay, he's going to be okay. He's awake.

"Oh my god." I finally manage to say. An enormous smile covers my face and I can't help the tears that are now streaming down my face.

"You can see him now." The doctor tells us.

I look to Clara with absolute relief and she pulls me into her arms. "You go see him first." She tells me, pulling back and placing her hands on the sides of my face.

"You sure?" I ask and she gives me a nod.

"Thank you so much." I tell her and she gives me another hug, before helping me back onto the wheelchair.

The doctor wheels me up the corridor towards where Zayn is and I am physically shaking with nerves.

"Now he's still a bit weak at the moment, and he may be slightly confused." The doctor tells me and I nod. I take a deep breath but don't release it.

He wheels me into Zayn's room and every single emotion hits me at once as I lay my eyes on him. The deep breath is knocked out of me and I cover my mouth to try and stifle my sobs. Stop crying. Stop crying. You've no reason to cry anymore, he's awake. I make a silent promise to myself to not burst into tears again as it's absolutely exhausting me.