Let Me Be Me || sequel to Changed ||

Chapter 4

Dedicated to @LoveTheMoustache because Jori :)

*NIALL'S POV*

"We have to go to America! We have to audition." I was hysterical. I couldn't help it. I didn't care how much it cost, I just had to see Cat again, hold her against me, hear her voice. "Woah, slow down Niall, how are we going to get into a performing arts school? We have no chance. This is pointless."

"Zayn, you don't understand. This isn't just about the school. We need to see the girls again. Stop getting us all down. Louis doesn't have a girlfriend and even he's excited to go. Now stop being such a pansycake and let us book the flights!" Zayn stepped back and Harry gave Liam his laptop. He opened it and started looking at flights. He just clicked on the first ones to L.A.X that he saw. They were for tomorrow.

"Boys, we're going to America. Tomorrow!" The cheers went round the room and we all went mental. "But shall we tell the girls?" Harry asked and looked at everyone. "I think it should be a surprise." I agreed with Liam and we both sat there with stupid grins on our faces.

"Right everyone, get out so you can go and pack and I'll see you back her tomorrow at 11.30 am for our flight at 2 pm!" Liam yelled and literally pushed us all out of the door.

*ANNA's POV*

"Well that's the last of the Ben and Jerry's." We took Jade literally and finished all the ice cream in her house. Then the door opened and in came Tori and Jade. "Hi! We finished all your ice cream Jade but we- what's wrong?" Jade's face was completely still, but there were tears streaming down her cheeks, so she was crying, but not properly. "Jadey?" Cat walked over to Jade and got hold of her hand, and placed her head on Jade's shoulder.

Tori got Jade to sit on the couch where she just stared straight ahead. We looked at Tori for an explanation and she gestured for us to follow us into the kitchen where she told us what happened. "Oh my gosh. He has to have an evil twin. Are you sure it was Beck? It doesn't sound like Beck."

"'Fraid so Cat." I couldn't believe it. From everything I'd been told about him this didn't seem like his normal behaviour.

"Guys, I'm upset, not deaf." We went back into the living room where Jade was looking at us. She was still crying. "Sorry Jade, I just thought they should know..." Jade nodded and looked down at her lap.

"Right, we're going shopping and then having a second sleepover. Tonight." Tori announced. "But what about school?" Tori thought for a minute. "We can go and get more clothes and come back then go to school together tomorrow."

I leaned over to Tori so I was close enough to whisper in her ear. "Do you really think we should leave her by herself?" Tori thought this over and decided that she would stay with Jade while we went and got our clothes and asked Cat if she could pick some up for her. "Kk!" And with that we left.

"Anna, do you think Jade's going to be okay?" I nodded. "Of course. She's Jade West. Why? Do you think she'll be okay?"

"If I know Jadey, not a chance." Cat's not as childish as she seems. She's intelligent enough to know it's all an act. We can try and persuade her otherwise but it won't make a difference. She knows how Jade's head works.

*JADE'S POV*

I was just staring into space when I felt someone sit next to me. Tori. "It'll be okay. You know that right?" I shook my head. "You don't understand. It will never be okay. I still love Beck. Not in the same way, but after everything we've been through together... I will always love him."

"What do you mean? I don't understand." I should have known that this question would come if I said that. I couldn't hide it any longer. Our sad little secret was bound to come out eventually I guess.

"I..." I took a shaky deep breath, and Tori squeezed my hand. "I was pregnant. We decided to keep it, but then a few weeks later I found out I lost it." There. I'd said it. I'd finally told someone.

"Oh Jade... When was this? Why didn't you tell anyone? Did Cat know? I mean, she is your best friend." I closed my eyes. I shook my head to answer her question. "I thought that the less people who knew, the quicker it would go away. It was after Sinjin's game show. Well, before. We got back together when I found out about the baby. I was still pregnant when I sang 'You Don't Know Me', and I was wearing the dress with a corset to hide the little bump I had. I just don't know what to do. I can't handle him hating me Tori. I just can't." I burst into tears again and collapsed against Tori.

After a while I looked up at her. "Thank you for this, but I have to ask. Why are you being so nice to me? I was a bitch to you for so long. I just don't understand."

Tori looked me in the eye. "Let's just say there's a thin line between love and hate." I was going to ask her what she was talking about, but before I could say anything she was leaning towards me. I leaned back, away from her. As soon as I saw the look on her face I felt guilty. She looked awkward. She stammered when she spoke. "I'm sorry I-I just... I couldn't help it."

"It was me you were talking about when you were yelling at Beck after- Oh Tori I'm sorry. I had no idea." She gave me a small smile. "It's okay. That was the way I wanted it."

"You should have talked to me about it. Actually, I can see why you didn't, I was evil." We both laughed and I looked her in the eye. "I like you Tori, but only as a friend. You understand that, right?" She nodded and gave a sad smile. "But hey, we're not going to be all awkward are we Vega? I'm actually starting to get used to you, and I kind of like having you around." I nudged her with my elbow and she nudged me back. "But, would you mind if we kept it a secret? You see, this might sound weird, but I'm not gay. I've always been into guys. It's just you." I smiled and made a hashtag with my fingers. "Hashtag girl crush!" We both laughed and settled down to watch re runs of Friends until Anna and Cat got back.

*BECK'S POV*

I watched Tori and Jade until they were out of sight, then went back inside. I sat on my bed and put my head in my hands. I let out a groan. What had I done? I felt Hayley sit next to me and put her hand on my shoulder. I moved away from her. "Hayley, I think it's best if you left."

She looked at me confused. "But I-"

"Look, I'm sorry, but just get dressed and leave. Please." She went into the bathroom to get changed and left after giving me a sad look. Great. I'd totally killed any chance of friendship with Jade, put serious strain on my friendship with Tori and made her hate me and now I'd just played Hayley. What was happening to me? I needed help. Fast. There was only one person I could think of to call. I got up their number and pressed green.

"Yeah, it's Beck. I know that it's just... I could really use your help right now..."