PERSONA, misc

poem- warmth

because he gave you a coffee
cold, iced, and cooling down his burning up hands
because he had this smile on his lips with the worlds most upheld confidence and maybe a weary jaw clench
taken, taken, taken
the words repeat in your head and you didn't even notice
homeless you were, without a home for your soul to rest in
and it lurched, leaving your body to reach for him and forget the iced coffee held out to you
you wanted him
and maybe he wanted you
but you could never tell

the wonders of infatuation with another person by another person for another person when already with the former person is something your mind could never wrap around

had he played you? were you playing him?
naive, but he gave you the cold that you had always loved
you hated warmth
but that was everything he was and you accepted that instead of the iced coffee
you accepted him
and his love for the other
his love for someone that wasn't you
the infatuation with the latter person
could you leave, could you leave
could anybody else have set you free
could anybody else make you show your teeth like he did
he was confident
confident in you
but he was naive to himself when it came to the other person
and the realization creeped in as you sat in his apartment at 2am
discussing random things in tense awkward pauses
it all went wrong when you both had sat on the couch opposite each other
fingers intertwined in laps
not wanting to touch anything else
and hurt
and he still didn't notice
but you looked out the window
to the falling snow in early winter
as he talked about a memory
and you just lost it
because he wasn't yours
but you were his
and that's all it was
until he came to you with another iced coffee the next day
clueless
a warm smile and now cold hands even before touching the cup
ready to start over with you
and you let him
because leaving wasn't an option
and loving will always be just for him

my mind is full of love and sadness
a rarity
i only have the latter