Dissonance | ✓

36 | When Shit Hits the Fan

     After I stopped blubbering, my mother left—then came back to make sure I was fine, then left, then repeated. I, eventually, had to push her to the parking lot and make sure she entered her silver BMW (that I had never seen before then) and drove off of school premises. Her concern was, although greatly appreciated, trekking into smothering territory.

     I found myself ambling around campus for a while, too caught up in my own head to register anything around me. Ximena definitely crossed my mind more than once, mainly because of when I told my mother that I thought I loved her. I ran the idea of being in love with her repeatedly in my head, searching for any minor doubt about it. Not a single doubt was found, which scared me. I was quite sure about how I felt; was that feeling going to be reciprocated? How could I have been in love with her after such a short time? Did time really matter? Did any of that matter, seeing as we were not going to see each other as often anymore?

     I also began to reassess the happenings of that entire year. In that span of time, my mother and I grew closer than ever before. I discovered who my real father was, and although he was not as involved as I admittedly hoped he would have been, my half sister was everything Juliet had not been, and more. My pretenders welcomed me into their former triangle of friendship with open arms. Regardless of our previous misunderstandings, they stuck with me—something I had never had in any of my old friends.

     (Although, that last statement could have only been true if Joey did not hold a grudge against me.)

     Joey! I began that day wondering where he was and ended up completely forgetting about him in the midst of my own turmoil. As we neared summer, the sun took longer to creep out of sight, so that left more time for my friends to be out in the courtyard. If I hurried, I would hopefully find them at our picnic bench.

     I snapped out of my mind and quickened my pace past the library and towards the boys' side of campus, until a familiar willow tree came into view with three figures occupying the picnic table beside it.

     "Joey, where've you been all day?" I gave him a quick side hug as I took a seat beside him, Miranda and Carter adjacent.

     "I was with the guidance counselor," he scoffed, practically spitting out 'guidance counselor.'

     "Oh, okay. So," I began, hesitating for a moment before continuing (because I did not know how to form the one question that had been in the back of my mind the entire day). "You're not in any trouble, right?" My voice was squeaker then I wanted it to be.

     Joey chuckled, "no, at least not in any more trouble than I'm used to. Walker let us off with a warning since we've just got out of basketball season."

     My body deflated as I sighed in relief, but immediately tensed up again when I compared my situation with Joey's; apparently, being gay was more punishable by a mile than engaging in a brawl. Mr. Walker had his priorities way off.

     "Where were you?" Miranda asked me, concern evident in her expression. I inhaled, ready to give them a vague answer, but remembered that Miranda witnessed me leaving our dorm with Miss. Crawford—plus, a veteran liar such as herself would have seen right through me.

     Therefore, I retold the events of that afternoon and evening, starting from when I blackmailed Mason in order to confirm his secrecy, excluding the part when Ximena I went to her dorm, and ending just before I told my mom how strongly I felt for Ximena. I received the sort of reception I would have expected from my friends; shock; sympathy; a rebirth of their hatred for Mason. Joey swore that if his spot on the basketball team was not hanging in the balance, he would have smashed Mason's face in. I rolled my eyes at that, thinking it was slightly obnoxious of him to think his spot was on the line. Of course it was not. Our principal could never let a stellar athlete like Joey off.