After Moon

Entry 04

Hello!

I'm back again!

One week, I can't believe it took him one week to talk to me.

I missed him so bad!

I wanted to talk to him yet I felt like I couldn't.

Was it really my fault why he was avoiding me?

If it wasn't obvious yet, I figured out he was avoiding me.

If he wasn't hiding anything then why would he be avoiding me?

I don't think he was shy. He didn't have any reasons to be.

He hid behind Taehyung~oppa's back one time. If it wasn't already clear yet that he had been staring during the award show but when I looked at his direction, he had the guts to hide.

His actions are really confusing me.

Two nights ago, I wanted to see him so bad but it felt like I got stood up. It was during the second night of the award show. It was in Japan. Like usual, the guys had visited but he wasn't there.

Too bad for me for expecting him. Maybe I just got used to him going with Hoseok~oppa and Jimin~oppa to visit us.

It didn't feel good at all. I wanted to ask him what the problem was?

Was I the reason for it? Did I cause it? This is deeply bothering me.

I remember, on that night of their concert in my home country, Taiwan, he sang a song I remember telling him it was sad for me.

It made me feel lonely after seeing a clip of him singing that song.

I remember crying over that movie we watched. He even laughed at me for crying. Well, I usually cry while watching romantic films but it was really a sad one for me.

Say goodbye.

One line that song kept repeating was say goodbye. One of the reasons why I thought it was a sad song yet it was supposed to be a song to give hope.

Did he mean it like that? I hope he can answer my questions now as I don't want to think of the time that he'll be saying goodbye.

I don't want it to ever happen. Never.

Earlier, I had the urge to run to him after their acceptance speech. The guys were all crying and very emotional.

It also made me tear up. I knew how things became a little rocky emotionally and physically for them.

It was one thing he had always feared of. Good thing, everything was settled and the guys were stronger than any obstacle they faced.

I wanted to comfort him so I went with the unnies to visit them. Yet, to my dismay, he wasn't there.

I wanted to wrap my arms around him to make him feel better. Like he would usually say that one hug from me would make his day complete already.

I went out of the room feeling disappointed, only to meet him.

I thought he wouldn't say a thing but relief washed over me as he did.

He told me he missed me. That made me smile.

It was nice to know that he was able to feel what I was feeling, what I am feeling.

Yet, I was surprised after that.

...

He suddenly begged me to trust him.

I trust him. I want to trust him.

But what is it? I really want to know.

When will he tell me?

After moon?..

~CTY

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AN: This is a work of fiction, based solely from the author's delusional mind. Please do leave a comment and tell me what you think.