When We Drown~Finnick Odair {Book 1}

Chapter Six

•••

Autumn rushed into her room, taking the knife out from her sleeve and inspecting it.

One less tribute. One less person to kill. One less person to be killed. If Autumn were to kill herself, would the Capital go back and choose another female tribute? That wouldn't do well for anyone.

"And what are you planning to do with that?" A voice spoke from Autumn's door. Autumn turned around to look at Finnick.

"I think you know the answer to that," Autumn spoke, staring at the knife in her hands.

Finnick walked up to her, slowly, and stopped in front of her. He reached for the knife and took it out of Autumn's hands.

"It wouldn't help anybody," Finnick told her. Autumn nodded, sitting down on her bed, motioning for Finnick to leave. He didn't. Instead he placed the knife on her bedside table and sat down next to her.

"It would prove something," Autumn told Finnick, looking him in the eye.

"Prove what?" Finnick stared back.

"Prove that they can't continue this. Prove to the Capital what this fear is doing to us," Autumn told him, looking away.

"Fear? You're scared?" Finnick asked, still staring at Autumn. She shook her head with a small chuckle.

"No," she looked back up. "I'm not afraid to die in the arena. I'm more afraid to live after it."

"That's smart," Finnick nodded. "Then why don't you die?"

"Maybe I will," Autumn shrugged. "The odds are never in my favor."

"Maybe they are this time," Finnick told her. "The Capital people love you. I heard them talking after the parade. Besides, you're skilled. You can kill."

"I know I can," Autumn looked back at him. "The question is, will I?"

"When the moment comes, you'll have to decide," Finnick looked away from her.

"I'm sorry, Finnick," Autumn placed her hand on his.

"For what?" He asked, looking back at her.

"I know you have the trauma of a tribute. I also know you're forced to put up and act for the Capital people," Autumn told him. Finnick stared at her for a moment longer.

If only you really knew what they forced me to do, Finnick thought. The past three years of never ending torment. The secrets he got paid with. The constant watch of President Snow, threatening his family's life.

There were moments when Finnick tried to think of a way out. He had devised countless plans to get his family out of Snow's reach so that he could stop being sold. But it was impossible. He would never get out.

Autumn knew Finnick was more traumatized than he let on, as all past tributes were. She knew that he continued to smile for the Capital people as a show. She knew he pretended to support the Games.

What Autumn didn't know was that all of Finnick's Capital lovers were fake. Finnick was known as a flirtatious boy. He was also known of being able to go through four or five different women in one Capital visit. This fact Autumn didn't fail to remember when she met him. She knew to be careful of his flirty ways, but so far she wasn't impressed.

This is in fact what made Finnick so interested in Autumn. How she had yet to drop to her knees at the sight of him. It was very refreshing to Finnick and he was happy he had found at least one woman who wasn't easily impressed by his fake charm or his looks.

Finnick looked at the broken projector on top of Autumn's bedside and smiled. Autumn noticed this.

"It made me a little angry," Autumn half smirked and half smiled, causing Finnick's smile of humor to grow.

"I know. I hate them too," Finnick told her.

"The Capital or the devices?" Autumn asked. Finnick let out a single laugh, leaning in close to Autumn like he did before the parade and whispered in her ear.

"Both," Finnick whispered. When he pulled away, Autumn gave him a confused look, wondering why he whispered. "Ears everywhere," he said, lowly. Autumn nodded, understanding. "Well, you have a long day tomorrow. You should get some sleep," Finnick smiled as he stood up and walked over to the door.

"Finnick?" Autumn stood up after him before he walked out of the door.

"Yeah?" He asked her, turning around and aiding his eyebrows.

"Is it hard? Living after the Games?" Autumn asked, her sarcastic exterior melting away being replaced by a terrified child. Finnick stared at Autumn for a minute, debating on what to say.

"Truthfully?" Finnick asked. Autumn nodded.

"Harder than being in the Games. But worth it if you have something to live for," Finnick finished. He gave Autumn a sorrowful look before he turned and left the bedroom.

•••

Autumn stood in the shower, staring at the dozens of buttons on the wall ahead of her. Autumn was originally very confused by the shower. After spending fifteen minutes of debating what button to push first, she called an avox into her room from the hallway. Even though the avox couldn't talk, Autumn could tell she was amused.

The way the avox communicated was by pressing the buttons and showing Autumn which did which. She only got through the first five, however, until Autumn told her she will never need to know how to turn on the steam.

The first button was to turn the shower on. The button could apparently twist as it changed temperatures. The second one dispensed shampoo, the third was conditioner, and the fourth was body wash. The avox also then showed Autumn where all of the supplies were.

As Autumn entered the bedroom after her shower and saw the knife on her bedside table, she realized why there was only a shower and no bathtub in the bathroom. Autumn supposed a tribute could complete the thing she was debating with the knife by holding their breath, but only until they pass out. Then they'd start breathing again.

But if they pass out underwater, they'll drown.