This story is just about me, trying to understand this shitty world I live in, there will be alot of upside down, so bare with me.
Don't mind the grammatical mistakes, it happen all the time. You don't expect me to be a top class writer. If you don't understand then that's not my problem
So where should I begin? Oh yeah, I was born in February of 10th 1998. There is not much of a childhood I remember, but Hell shit my childhood was like a pin drop silence, atleast that what my parent told me.
I don't have much about my childhood to share, the fact that I don't understand a thing about what's happening, it was like every day was like a cycle of repetition. Wake up, eat breakfast, go to school and eat lunch and return back to home, that its.
As goes for my studies ,I was weak in almost every subject not because of any mental disturbance, it was like.... I didn't figure out the purpose of school .
My handwriting was horrible and I got 0 or 5 all the time mostly fail. My father brought me a home room teacher but no good.
My whole life I figure out that...
"In life sometime you have to teach the purpose rather then all the daily routines"
These words took me 5 years to understand but at that time it was too late.At that time all the teacher were teaching me how to read,write, understand. But, never bother teaching me, why? That the reason most of the children at that stage hate school.
1-5 grade, I used to study in co-educational institution, one of my reason of being silence, most of the girl in my class were talkative. Never have any interactions with them. Thank you!
1,2,3 grade went by very quickly didn't understand anything. Now In 4 grade I witness change, In my final exam we have a cross over with the 5 grade student and for the first time, I saw someone cheat through paper, that event change everything...
As always I manage to just pass my exam and promote myself to next grade. In fifth grade I cheated and by chance my first cheating was a success but hell it was a scary experience. I sweating alot but,
"One shitty step change everything"
This was my first step in lack of character which lead to my character failour.
My teacher once ask me about my test marks the same test I failed miserably yet I told my teacher the wrong information by increasing my marks which lead to the character failure, which I regret the most, till present.
In Fifty grade, I started to understand the process of promoting to next class. The most shocking part was that all my previous grade I got "F" which means I fail my previous grade, then how the hell did I promote to next? My first explanation was did my father use money or what🤔? Anyhow
Continue...
In 6th grade, I was promote to secondary level... In our institution/school after 5 grade you promote from primary to secondary level. Its was a new experience we had a couple of changes our co-education was spilt we have shifting of different student, In my new class there were hardly any students I knew from my previous grade. I hardly know anyone, I was alone again(not that I had any friend in my previous class), we had male Teacher (more Scary). In time and time I manage myself in this new environment in positive way, I started talking with other student, playing with them and everything but there is one old saying...
"Good thing never last forever"
My only problem was study, which stole every last happiness of my life. I failed😞 my 6th grade, not because I didn't study because I didn't know what study meant in life. I remember my last day of that school, I was in the car knowing that I will never return back to this memory.
Well, it doesn't matter what happen, I was transfer to another school. This new school were designed accordingly to the western culture, every activity was that of western culture. For example we had sport festivals, school trip, swimming competitions, sports changing place. Which inspired my father and want me to study in this school.
So as always I fail my initial test, but somehow somewhere I re-again apply for initial test and this time I pass👍.
My new life was alot different from that of my previous, I had alot of experience in my life, for example I started to speak english cause its a English_medium_school. I experience trip with my new friends, sports festivals mid/final , swimming competitions. And alot of different activities. Basically I love my new school and my new friends but there is always this devil study that can't stop chasing after me. I remember my school life , I didn't complete my homework ,incomplete notebook , not paying attention to the teacher, low grade in class (lowest grade) I even remember that I once cryed to my attitude toward study but didn't have the courage to study. My one and only fear was that somehow I PASS, But even though I know that there is no hope I don't want to repeat this grade I don't want my friend to left me behind.
I remember that day, when I way receiving my result, every subject calculation will fail me miserable. When I was on my way home I was cursing myself for what I did. I can't even face my own father but yet he found me on the road side and ask what happen to the result. I was literally broken.... I could have made alot of excuses but at that time ....
telling the truth make me feel light... telling the truth make me realize that it was my mistake... telling the truth make me realize that i was making a fool of my own self... telling the truth change me.
That was the point where I make a decision that I must repeat .. and do every thing again but honestly.
