Good Boy, Bad Boy

13: Believe it or not...

I still can't believe we actually had a whole long ass conversation about our love lives. I've barely told them anything about myself and I don't really know much about them and we went to that topic. What a way to break the 'getting to know you' ice. I also can't believe that I trust them with that information. They can literally tell anyone and embarrass me for life. I hope they don't though. They're your friends Ashby. I guess friends don't do that, unless...they want to pay me back for something and they started the conversation to learn more information about me...ah, shit. No. Stop being so paranoid Ashby. Remember, they're your friends.

Today we had a 'surprise quiz' as Miss Owens likes to call it. And as I'm shit at math, of course I won't get anything correct. Starting off with F's already...what am I gonna do? A tutor doesn't sound like a bad idea but how do I find one when I don't know if there's someone offering to be one. Maybe I can ask Elliot or Trevor. Yeah, that's what I'll do.

After classes end I head back to our room with the idiots and immediately change from the uniform into my regular clothes. I can't stand this nasty uniform. I lay in bed and decide, for once, to actually do some homework. Well, it's easy because it's for English. We have to write a 300 word essay describing one item. Apparently Mr. Spear wants to see how decent our vocabulary is and to find out if anyone can manage to reach the 300 word goal without repeating the same sentences in different order of words. It's an easy task for me since I pick out to describe something more complex and that's a printed t-shirt. I don't struggle at all and I'm done after an hour. While I did that I kept glancing at the two fools across from me who couldn't even write one sentence.

"You're finished already?" Elliot asks me when he sees me putting the notebook in my backpack.

"Yeah." I stand up to stretch.

"Can you give us a little help? Pretty please?" He bats his eyelashes and smiles sweetly. I stop mid stretch as I find the perfect moment to ask them something too.

"I can. But I want something in return." I cross my arms.

"Anything." Elliot says and now I grab Trevor's attention too as he turns.

"I need some help in math. If any of you can find someone to help me I can tell you how to write this."

"Deal. We already have a man for that." Elliot says and looks at Trevor.

"Believe it or not I'm actually the best in our class in math." Trevor says proudly. I raise my eyebrows.

"You? Good at math?"

"Yeah. I'll gladly tutor you if you want." He smirks. Why are you smirking weiner? I look at him suspiciously but still say, "Okay. We have a deal then." I sit down on Trevor's bed between the two and tell them two complete essays.

"How are you so good at this?" Trevor asks me tilting his head to look at me better.

"Like you are with math, I'm that with English." I lean back on the wall.

"I studied hard to be good at math since I was little. But you gotta have talent to write." He says.

"I guess. I've loved writing since I learned how to do it. It's become a stress reliever with time. It helps me calm down." I say honestly.

"You must be stressed a lot. Since writing is all I see you do." Elliot says this time.

"Believe me, I'm constantly stressed. I'm just not showing it." I realize how sad that sounds so I laugh a little to lighten it up. They don't though, they just look at me with pity. Ugh, I didn't want you to pity me too. Why did I say that?
"It's okay Ash. You can tell us if anything is stressing you out. Maybe we can help." Trevor says with a sad smile and Elliot nods.

"Thanks." They really are friends. They wouldn't say this if they weren't.

"Argh, let's lighten up guys. Enough of the sappiness." Elliot waves his arms around.

"I gotta go shower." I say and walk into the bathroom. I don't start the water because I hear my name being spoken in the room. Should I listen? It's not good but I want to know what they'll say. Even though my heart is saying don't do it, I listen to my brain and lean in on the door.

"Maybe we should surprise him. Ya know, do something fun again. He's obviously struggling with something so we need to take his mind off of it." I hear Elliot say. He's not entirely wrong. I'm always struggling with something even without having an actual problem. Does my resting face look depressed or something? Is that what gives it off?

"That doesn't sound bad. We can take a break too. I think I have an idea..." I pull away not wanting to spoil it for myself. If they're determined to do something fun I'm not stopping them, but I just hope it's not another party. I've had enough of those for some time. With that thought I undress and head into the shower.

I realize one thing when I exit the shower. I forgot clothes. I always bring clothes with me, I don't know how that slipped my mind now.

"Hey guys...can you hand me some clothes?" I peak through the door.

"Get some yourself. You've seen us naked dozens of times. We won't judge." Elliot says from his laid down position on the ground.

"Come on you jerks. I don't wanna walk out with just the towel." I don't want you to see me naked.

"Are you really that embarrassed about being seen naked?" Elliot asks me. And let the embarrassment commence.

"Please just...give me some clothes." Even though Elliot still lays down I can see his confused expression. Trevor though, decides to help me and hands me clothes. I don't look at him as I grab them and close the door. I let out a deep breath and dress up.
I hear them quietly arguing when I open the door. They immediately stop when they see me.

"If you're gonna ask me if I have body issues, please keep it. I think you already figured that out." I say because I saw that Elliot was getting ready to ask something.

"Okay." He slumps down. I know that it's better if I open up about this but I'd rather not. It's been a sensitive topic for me since a long time ago. I've never liked they way my body looked but I learned to live with it. I see myself as too skinny and I don't want them to see me and make fun of how my 'heart shows up every time it beats' because I don't have any meat on my bones or how they 'see the food going through my intestines' and that 'every bite I take shows'. I've had enough of those comments in my old school. That's probably why I never undress in the locker rooms and why I don't want anyone to see me naked. People have ridiculed me so much that they made me hate my body. I can't go away from that mindset even though I know that other people's words shouldn't influence me.

"Wanna come to dinner with us?" Elliot changes the topic.

"Yeah. Let's go."