I sit, and I stare. I stare at the walls painted white. They are straight, yet can hold a whole house. They can have so much life, so much meaning. I sit, and I think. I cannot hurt you again. I cannot betray you again. I try and try and try to make it better. To make you forget about the present and think about the future... the past. Sometimes I talk about us. The old us. All the memories from when we were so close, and I smile. I think it makes you happy too, forgetting reality for a while.
I do not regret it, though. I do not regret saying what I did. You don't need the stress of another person on top of the tension already running through your veins. But I am sorry. I am sorry for not being there all the time. I am sorry for not knowing what to say sometimes.
Most importantly, I am so sorry for ever breaking your heart.... and I know I said I am sad, and you accepted my apology. I know you say you forgive me, but I don't forgive myself. I could be there more. I could help more. I can hold your hand when you need me most. I can be your friend...your best friend... If only you would realize that I still care, I always will, and I always have.
As I sit and stare, I realize you, and I used to be like those white walls. Our love is strong enough to hold a whole house. We did not appreciate each others walls that often, though. We did not take time to say thank you, or I love you... But because these walls are there, it can hold an entire house. Yet we failed.
Maybe if I continue to reach out every day, then you will realize. I still care. That I am sorry that love does not stop; I can be that best friend I once was. Just let me in. We can be those walls. Let our house stand again. Instead of fall before us.
YOU ARE READING
Late Night Thoughts
PoetryDo you ever sit at night and wonder what is going on inside my brain? How can I let these thoughts out when sometimes I don't even know how to explain it? This book is a collection of relatable late-night ideas. Words put on paper to help let some c...
