Crazy For You (Narry)

Chapter Twenty

My first reaction is to pull away from Niall, who still had his hands on my waist. I take a few steps back until my back hits the wall behind me. Niall is staring at me with wide eyes. I don't know what to do or say so I just reach for the door and make my way back inside as fast as I can. My mind is conflicted because I don't want this to come between Niall and me but I am really not ready to let the world know about us. Don't get me wrong, I am not ashamed of my boyfriend, I swear. But so many people judging me and probably hating me just isn't the greatest feeling in the world.

I notice that Niall has now also come inside and I'm just frozen on the spot, shocked from what just happened. I know that picture will be over every gossip magazine in the world within a few hours. I take a few deep breaths and feel Niall's hand on my shoulder. I roughly turn around to face him and look at him with a desperate look on my face. I don't want this to happen, it was good the way it was before. No one was supposed to find out about us and now the whole world will know. 

''Harry?'' Niall asks carefully.

''I-I need some time alone, okay?'' I whisper.

''Yeah, okay... That's okay,'' he says and forces out a smile. 

I don't bother to smile back because he'll know it'll be a fake one. He knows me good enough to know that. It breaks my heart to leave him standing there like that but I can't help it. I need to get out of this place as soon as possible. There's really nowhere I can go so I wander around back stage for a while, trying to clear my head. I try to think of a plan but nothing makes sense in my head right now.

In a desperate attempt, I go back to the place where Niall and I were caught kissing to see if the photographer is still there. Obviously, he is long gone, but it still stirs disappointment inside of me. That guy is probably earning a lot of money for that picture of the famous Niall Horan and Harry Styles snogging outiside the venue. I mentally slap myself for kissing Niall while we were outside. We could've avoided all of this if we weren't so damn stupid. Then I suddenly feel anger towards Niall. He is the one who kissed me. He is the one who caused all of this.

I make my way back inside and frantically start to search for Niall. I find him along with the other boys. He looks at me but quickly looks away again as he sees my angry expression.

''Niall,'' I take a breath to calm myself. ''Can I talk to you for a minute.''

He nods and follows me. 

''Okay, if that picture comes out, we'll have a big problem,'' I start. ''We need to find a way to fix this and quick.''

''What do you want to do about it, Harry? It happened, there's no way we can prevent the picture from being published,'' he crosses his arms and looks annoyed.

''Easy for you to say! You were all ready to come out. This is no problem for you, you're getting what you wanted,'' I snap at him.

''We had to come out eventually! Why are you making such a big deal out of this?'' he argues back.

''Because I'm not ready to be hated! You might not care but I do. This is all your fault,'' I yell at him.

His mouth pops open in surprise. ''What? How is this my fault?''

''You were the one who kissed me. You felt the need to kiss me when there was clearly a risk to kiss while we were outside. Anybody could've seen us and you chose that exact moment to kiss me,'' I sneer. A voice in the back of my mind says I am being unreasonable but I am unable to think straight right now. 

''What the hell? You kissed me back! Don't make this all about me! It's just as much your fault,'' he said, an offended look clear on his face. ''I can't even look at you right now!''

It hurt to hear him say that to me. I know I'm hurting him too, probably even more. I want to make this right but I have no idea how. I keep quiet for a few seconds. Niall looks at me expectantly, waiting for me to say something.

''I think it's better if we take a break,'' I say eventually.

''What?'' he answers breathily. He looks at me with the most fragile look on his face that almost makes me want to take it all back but I know this is better for us now. 

''You heard me,'' I mumle quietly.

He doesn't say anything and looks at me one more time before he walks back to where the boys are, his shoulders hunched. It takes me all my strenght not to break down in tears. I start to doubt whether I'm doing the right thing but I just need some time to think. When I come back into the room, everybody is gone already. I also make my way back to the tourbus and ignore everybody. Wordlessly, I crawl into my bunk and fall into a restless sleep. 

----

I wake up the next day and feel horrible. I told Niall I wanted to take a break. I don't even want to take a break, for god's sake! I want to be with him and make him happy. I completely fucked up last night and I have no idea how I'm ever gonna face Niall again. I stay in bed until my stomach starts grumbling and then slowly get up and shuffle towards the kitchen. Niall is nowhere in sight, thank God. Only Liam is up and eating some cereal. I make some cereal for myself too and plop dow next to Liam.

''Hey,'' he smiles.

''Hi,'' I barely look up at him before quickly turning my gaze back to my bowl of cereal.

''Niall told us what happened,'' he continues.

''About the photographer?'' I ask.

''And about you guys taking a break. He was quite devastated,'' he gives me a pointed look. 

''Well, I'm not too happy about it either,'' I say, annoyance lacing my voice.

''You were the one who suggested the break thing, though.''

''I was completely freaked out, Liam!'' I exclaim.

''So you don't actually want a break?'' he asks tentatively.

''No, of course not,'' I say miserably. I just want Niall back.

''Maybe you should talk to him....'' Liam says matter of factly.

Liam is right, I should talk to him. But how is he ever going to forgive me after all the things I said to him last night? I literally blamed him for everything. As if it's all his fault. I see now why he was so mad at me for saying that. God, why do I keep doing everything wrong. 

In the mean time, Liam has gone off to give his parents a ring and I'm left alone. I finish my breakfast and walk back to my bunk. I wrap myself up in my duvet and grab my phone. I open twitter and scroll through my mentions. No one mentions a kiss between me and Niall so I guess the picture hasn't been published yet. I feel relief but it also makes me feel like more of an idiot. I overreacted yesterday and now I don't have my Niall anymore. I have to make this right.

A/N: soooooorry :) yes it's true, 2 updates in 2 days! woopwoop! hope you liked iiiit :)

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