warning: doesn't make sense, inspired by people irl and clearly is for a joke
the night was still young. i put on my fancy suit (that may i add, barely fit me). i was waiting for my husband, aaron. it was our anniversary date, we were together for ten years and had lots of fun with it ;).
i heard the door close and stood up. there he was, my shinning armor, aaron, he came in with a wet suit and a frown.
"honey, what happened," i asked him in a hurry. he looked up at me and ignored me as if i wasn't there.
"sweetheart, look at me," i paused as he looked up, "what's wrong?"
"i.i. look thomas, i really like you, i mean i'm married to you so obviously i like you ,but i was weightlifting today after work and i saw my ex-boyfriend, olly."
"oh," i muttered as i got up and went to our shared room. my tears fell down as soon as i sat down. he definitely still likes ollly. i mean olly has it all, money, fame, looks, personality, did i say looks already? because he is extremely good looking.
aaron entered the room and took off his wet suit. he had his bikini underneath that. he looked so hot, i could just bite that peace of meat off of his sexi body.
"i'm really sorry thomas. we had something but i don't know where that went. let's have a fancy divorce, that's the least i can do for you."
"WHAT YOU'RE DIVORCING ME?!"
aaron slowly nodded as he put on his pajamas over his bikini. he looked at me with pity as he buttoned up his shirt.
"look, i don't want to wear anymore bikinis. it's extremely annoying and i'm sick of doing that because of your disgusting fetish for bikinis," aaron told me.
"but bikinis-"
"no buts thomas. we're going to have a fancy divorce. didn't you like mikey? i know he's really something. maybe i can set him up with you."
"b-b-but mikey is already married to david. his last name is akita now," i cried in pain.
"i know today is our anniversary but i can't do it. sign the papers downstairs. i will give you a fancy divorce. i promise."
