Conditional Love

Chapter 32

I glance down at his feet, gathering my thoughts, trying to reign in my emotions. He hasn't done anything. I shouldn't be mean.

Even after telling myself that a couple more times, it still doesn't help. These guys, they say there is more to relationships than just fucking, even give me a taste of it. I don't know how to take that. What if they do succeed? What if they make me trust in them, and then they move on? I won't be able to survive that.

"Why are you here?" I snap out.

"I wanted to check up on you."

The heat leaves my face as I stare at him. "How much do you know?"

He doesn't respond and I step back, away from him, ready to bolt back into my apartment and lock myself inside.

Kota holds up his hands. "Just the basic. I just want to talk. Make sure you're okay. That's it, I swear."

Narrowing my eyes, I consider him. He's keeping his distance, his body relaxed, and his expression is sincere. "Go home, Kota," I say, slumping my shoulders, exhaustion now pulling at me. "Just go home."

"After we talk," he said, some stubbornness slipping in.

"I'm not interested."

"Please, Sang? There's a coffee shop nearby we can go to. Drink some hot chocolate?"

My lip involuntarily curves into a small smile. "Hot chocolate?"

There is just enough light to see that his cheeks turn a little red. He clears his throat and glances away in embarrassment. He scratches the back of his neck. "I just figured it's too late for coffee and I need to drive so I can't drink. I'm not much into tea either."

"So hot chocolate?" Teasing slips into my voice. Kota is being too cute right now.

He nods and shrugs. "I like hot chocolate and I got used to always stocking up on it since my sister and Luke likes it too."

I giggle and then stop, eyes widening. He just made me giggle. That was alone to have me agreeing. "Okay. Hot chocolate."

He grins. "Great." He moves away from his car and opens the passenger door for me. "Oh, do you need to go get anything or change?"

I shake my head. I have my keys and my phone. That was enough. Besides, if he's going to insist on hot chocolate, I plan on making him pay for it. The drive there is quick, neither of us saying anything. I make note of the way there in case I wanted to come back.

The coffee shop was cute, small, with a few tables, and only half full. The atmosphere was quiet as the ones who were there, worked on their laptops. This place wasn't so much a social hub but a place to focus.

Kota led me over to a table for two and I got settled.

He stared at me for a moment, thinking about something. After he nodded to himself, he said, "I'm going to get the hot chocolate and make sure they put in marshmallows." He hesitated for a moment, his smile slipping away. "While I'm ordering and waiting, my back is going to be you. When I turn around and you're not here, I'll understand. You don't know us. You don't trust us. We still want to be your friend. I make a halfway decent friend, if you give me a chance." With those words, he turns and goes to the counter to put his order in. I stare at the stiffness in his shoulders, not sure what to make of his words.

All of them are voice their opinions about becoming a friend. I never had friends, never had the times. Well, I guess Wil could count, but he feels like he's more than a friend. Even now. Even when I rarely have a chance to talk to, let alone see him.