Dear diary ( bws fanfic)

Diary entry 9

I run for as long as i can in no direction in particular trying to escape my thoughts, people that say going for a run clears your mind are full of shit.

I finally can't take running anymore and lean against a random apparent building, i scan through my list of contacts and realise i don't really have anyone to call. I know I'm being stubborn and that if i called phoenix she'd drop whatever she's doing and help me so i call her.

"Hi?" she answers

"Um hi, can you pick me up, i just saw my mum and.."

She cuts me off before i can finish my sentence " kay, i cant didn't i tell you i had a wedding to go to, i swear you never listen to me lately" she huffs , she's right i guess but it doesn't make me feel any better, i hang up without responding.

I could call my dad he'd obviously pick me up, it's his job as a parent but i don't want to talk about mum with him so i don't.

My eyes double take over brads name. "Fuck it " i mumble calling him.

"Greetings" he answers cheerfully

"hi " i choke trying to hold back the tears

"What's wrong?" he questions sounding genuinely concerned.

"nothing , it doesn't matter, do you think you could pick me up" i say breathing deeply to calm myself.

"Well i'm kinda" he pauses for a moment , "uhh, sure where are you?", i hear loud music and laughing in the background

"If your busy don't worry i can walk.. I guess" i say praying he will

" no no no it's cool i can" he replies fast

I tell him where i am and sit down against the wall waiting with my hands covering my eyes as i cry. I feel like a dick, i know it's not a big deal but it hurts.
He finds me after 15 or so minutes and gets out of the car to open the door for me.
I mumble thanks, i'm too scared to talk properly incase i start bawling .

After awhile of him watching me wondering if ill say anything i start to cry and hide my face in embarrassment. he gives me an understanding smile and squeezes my leg supportively, and begins to drive off.

I feel so uncomfortable i've only ever cried in front of phoenix and my parents, which is ironic considering they are both the reason im crying.

"I'm taking you to mine" he says which makes me relieved because i don't wanna go home yet.

We get to his house and sit on the couch not talking for awhile.

"Lets watch a movie" he says switching the tv onto netflix.

"What do you wanna watch" he asks poking my shoulder gently

"dunno " i mumble shrugging, ive calmed down but i keep randomly hiccuping which is the worst type of crying because its so uncontrollable.

"Ummm" he scrolls through the movies putting 'the lion king' on, gee that'll stop me crying for sure.

We sit and watch the movie for awhile, its awkward. I've stopped crying completely and i feel the kind of numbness you feel after you cry sometimes.

He starts looking at me with a little smile , and wraps his arms around my shoulders and i feel his warmth on me, i rest my head against his neck and shoulder.

"Are you gonna tell me what's wrong babe" he says softly yet i jab my elbow into his knee for calling me babe.

" it's really stupid trust me, i don't even know why im crying" i say looking up into his beautiful eyes and it gives me chills.

"It obviously means something or else you wouldn't be crying" he responds kissing my forehead gently, i almost melt.

I give in even though i really didn't want him to know, i tell him the situation with my mother including the back story. He doesn't really say much but i can tell he feels like shit because ne has such loving parents.

" i called phoenix to ask her to pick me up and she got angry at me because she was busy, and it made me feel like shit because me and her have been so distant since she started dating fucking harry, and i wasn't gonna call her because i just didn't want to but she knew about my mum being a fucking cow so i thought.." i say almost yelling, not because im angry at her im disappointed in myself for calling.

I calm myself down by breathing "i just thought she cared, i feel like i have no one" i utter hiding my face in his chest as i feel my tears falling once again.

He lies down on the couch with me still in his arms holding him tight.

"If it makes you feel better, you have me, but i get why it hurts you so bad, she's supposed to be your best friend"

"Yeah" i sigh

After a bit of us just lying there, me feeling immense butterflies and my heart feels like it's beating a mile a minute.

"So who ah, were you talking about when you were announcing you had a boyfriend" he smirks, i look up at him and he smirks.

"First of all it was just to see how she'd react considering how her parents did, and his names bruce you wouldn't know him though" i smirk resting my head back on his chest and tracing a love heart on his stomach with my index finger. He scoffs in reply.

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Without realising i had fallen asleep i awake to hushed voices.

"They are definitely dating" a man's voice whispers chuckling a little, i pretend im still asleep curious of what his parents have to say about me without me 'knowing'.

"Aw they are so adorable together" his mother gushes, i can feel an uncontrollable smile pulling at my lips so i cough loudly and roll over so my face is being covered by brads chest and my back is facing his parents.

i wake brad up with my loud coughing and he notices his parents and glances down at me to see im still 'asleep' so whispers to his parents, i don't really remember what he said because i genuinely fall back asleep in a matter of seconds.

When i wake up about half an hour later im lying alone on the couch. I sit up and look around for brad when i see his mother in kitchen preparing dinner and she notices me and smiles "afternoon sunshine" ahh i feel so vulnerable when i sleep in front of people so i feel incredibly awkward.

"Oh uh hiya" i smile awkwardly getting up and walking towards brad's room hoping he's there.

"Are you staying for dinner sweetie?" she asks just as i start to make my way up the stairs so i turn around to face her.

" oh no thank you, i was just about to ask if brad could take me home actually but thank you for offering" i smile feeling flattered she asked.

"Next time then" she says while brad makes his way down the stairs in front of me.

"Of course" i smile at her " hey do you think you could take me home?"

" sure do you wanna say for dinner though?" he asks not knowing his mother had already asked me.

"Ah nah your mum already asked , i should probably get home to my dad i'm usually home like an hour ago when i see my mum"

"What do you mean when you see your mum?" brads mum eaves drops but asks kindly

"Oh my parents are divorced" i laugh like the verble version of haha you type when your having an awkward conversation and want it to end.

"Aw no that's a shame i'm sorry to hear" she says kindly

"No it's for the best but thanks anyway" i reply

"Okay let's go then" brad says quickly to avoid more questions from his mother.

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Once we get to my house i notice a familiar car in my driveway.

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