I've grown up in a country where violence against women is a culture.
Each day women are beaten in their homes or on the streets, with a recently publicised killing of a British tourist.
New Zealand is a beautiful country marketed all around the world as the "adventure capital of the world" but the country holds dark secrets which tourists aren't necessarily exposed to often.
At the age of Eleven when I began intermediate it was compulsory to have one self defence class a week at my school. Why? Because a former student was kidnapped when the school had a half day. An innocent girl, walking home from school. Her abductor eventually took her home but, that was after he assaulted her.
At this age I realised how cruel people can be however, like every other girl in that class I thought "pft why is this relevant to me. It won't happen to me."
As I grew older more things opened my eyes to how cruel our country can be.
At the age of Twelve a friend began dating a boy, who had already been to juvenile detention centres for assaulting his own mother. He was thirteen.
At the age of thirteen I began experimenting in relationships and found myself online talking to boys - most would flirt with you, make you feel special and then turn around and ask you to send them nudes once they gained your trust. Each time I found myself sitting in my room disappointed because my friends had so much attention from boys yet I was the 'ugly friend'. I could be at the mall with my friends and they would have boys come up asking for their numbers. Of course my friends loved the attention... while I stood in the corner being ignored by EVERYONE.
At the time I cared a lot of what boys thought but once again my views changed as I grew up.
At the age of fourteen I got into my first relationship. Something that should be exciting and something every girl and boy looks forward to.
A month or so into our relationship things seemed a bit off. Although the boy was my age, he would try to feel me up and when I jumped (due to inexperience and not being comfortable with what was happening) he would laugh it off and try again later.
The first night I met his dad he was drunk. Completely wasted, great first impression right? Not. Although the situation was extremely awkward I did my best to survive the afternoon and politely declined the offer of alcoholic beverages, something that I look back on that I will NEVER regret.
The next time I met his dad he was once again drunk. Except this day I remember vividly.
He walked in while his son and I were playing xbox and he began to feel my legs while talking to his son. Leaning on me and feeling me. My ex did NOTHING to stop this despite how obviously uncomfortable I was.
As a young girl I always dreamed of my knight in shining armour, well in this case boyfriend - protecting me and sticking up for me. However he didn't stop this and despite making it clear to him I wasn't comfortable with him OR his father touching me like that nothing changed.
I didn't know what to expect as it was my first relationship, part of me question if it was normal or not.
