I just realized while writing...How cool would it be to make her latina?
So I just added a few things here and there.
Wow, usually I hang out with my family, then go out with Chelsea.
I was planning on doing something with Jo instead, but she's in jail, so that's going to be kind of hard to pull off right now...
I had decided that I won't ask Dylan to bail them.
After everything that happened, it just wouldn't be right of me.
And I understand if they're pissed at me when they get out because I got them into jail...but honestly, it's not really my fault that they drank...
So I guess I'm stuck with my family all day.
"Get your ass down here dipshit!" I shouted from the kitchen up to John.
I felt something hard make contact with my head.
I saw mom giving me that look of hers.
"Mom, did you just smack me?" I asked.
She nodded. "Don't be using that kind of language in my house." She said.
I apologized to her.
Honestly, I had no idea she was there, or I wouldn't have said that.
"So what are we doing today míha?" Mom asked.
"I don't know...um, I think it's John's year to decide now."
My mom looked down and a tear fell from her eye.
Last time that it was John's year to decide what to do, that's the year my dad died.
We had gone paintballing, and we were in the middle of a game, and my dad took of his helmet because there was something in it that he needed to remove, and while the helmet was off, I was behind the rock with him.
I told him to put it back on, but he played around with it, making some goofy faces so that I'd laugh.
I kept feeling like danger was still aproaching, but I shrugged it off, I was paranoid.
Right as he was abotu to put back on his helmet. he took a shot to the head, right behind his eye, and then his eye popped out of the socket and he died.
I remember seeing it, and screaming, I remember the look on his face when he got hit.
I remember it all like it was just yesterday.
I wish he was still here, I miss him every single day.
It's not hard for a girl to lose her father, even if it was years ago, I still get very emotional over it.
I wish something could have just gone differently.
He wasn't there to see me take out my braces.
He wasn't there to scare off my first boyfriend.
He won't be there to see me graduate...
Sometimes, John can't help feel like it's his fault that dad died.
If he hadn't picked paintballing dad would still be alive, but I tell him all the time that it's not his fault and he needs to accept that and move on.
But deep down, I feel like it was his fault too.
John wouldn't come out of his room, and he locked the door, and I heard him sobbing.
"Can you atleast come out so we can exchange gifts?" I pleaded.
I didn't hear him respond.
Well it was worth a try, but honestly, he needs to cool down.
Sure he might feel like it's his fault, but he can't let his sadness get the best of him, or else it'll eat him alive.
I know I usually don't take no for an answer, but right now, I'm not in the mood for him to ruin Christmas for me.
I went back downstairs, and sat on the island in the kitchen, across from my mother.
"Mom, I guess it's just you and me today." I told her.
"You choose." She said, taking a bite of her apple.
"I actually want to go and visit dad." I admitted. "I don't want to bring down the christmas mood or anything like that...but it's just that I really miss him and I think it's something I should do."
"Okay, we go visit Robert, but then we do something happy. Comprendo?"
"Thanks mama." I gave her a hug.
When we walked into the cemetar, I felt a sudden sense of sadness wash over me.
I'd been here too many times.
We walked over slowly to my dad's grave, and we both set the flowers that we had brought for him on the grave.'
But as soon as we stepped back, and big gust of wind blew through the cemetary and carried the flowers that my mom bought, tulips, but it left the ones that I brought, daisies.
Then I remembered that his favorite flowers were daisies.
I looked over to my mom to see that she had noticed too.
"How could I...?" She buried her head in her hands. "I was a horrible wife."
I wrapped her into my arms. "Ay, mami, you just forgot, you were an amazing wife to him okay?"
She nodded and then she wiped off her tears, and we both sat at his grave, crying, and talking to him, and just watching it and thinking about him.
I guess Christmas wasn't all bad...but still, it was really sad, but I think that I needed that, I needed to go there one more time and see him before college or anything..
"We should go home." Mom said, getting up and sniffling.
I got up also, and we hugged each other, before running into the car, away from the rain that was now pelting on the car windows.
Once in the car, I felt instantly warmer.
"Thanks for coming with me." I told her.
She smiled at me. "Anytime."
Sorry, I know this was a short chapter, but I'm not so good at writing sad things, but I hope it was okay.
Sorry I also took long to upload, I've just been so busy with packing and all.
I'm moving, to boarding school! :(:
Thanks to all my fans for the support <3
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