I honestly don't know why my mom just didn't have an abortion with me I'm a lost cause and a true disappointment and one day I hope to be better. But I'm good at a lot of things like cooking and giving good advice, Hell I even learned how to knit and taught myself how to hair and crochet 🧶 but that's not really good accomplishments. My siblings don't care about me or respect me as a person and to be frank, my brother rather use me as a punching bag and it gets hard but I didn't start writing this for anyone's pity because I don't need it. This is just how I'm going to cope with everything. I live through my headphones with a Nightcore song on repeat because there music understands me and I understand it and sure to some people it may just be a bunch of pretty high pitched voices singing imitations of songs already made but to me they sound better. Spending time alone in my room feels so much better than being around people that show fake love. My life is not a happy one. Feeling shitty and low because I'm not skinny use to be the biggest thing I hated about being in my body but I've grown to accept it because I'm not really that fat I've got curves in all the right places and I know how to use them when needed but lately everything I use to love becomes so foreign to me. Today I slept all day and waited till 5 in the afternoon to finally eat just because I didn't wanna be bothered with everyone else. The thing about being depressed is that these negative thoughts stick to your brain like flies stick to fly traps. No running from them so they make me pretty sad in results. Not really much to look forward to so I have to find reasons but I too get tired of being let down. I hope that someone reads this before it's too late. I'm getting tired of this thing called life but yet nobody hears me ....
