Transmitted Thoughts

Chapter 1

Kisa held the phone tightly.

“Oh Tsumori-sensai, do you have my results.” he hoped that it was just a track infection.

“Kisa Shouta, i have some good news and some bad news which do you want first.”  

Kisa had been in pain for a few days, his stomach hurt and it stung whenever he urinated. At first he thought it was just something he had eaten or just a flu bug, but when it didn’t go away Yukina told him to see a doctor. At first Kisa was stubborn not wanting to  tell anyone about the pain he was experiencing in that area. But then Yukina used his alpha voice on him and Kisa complied.  

“Bad news first.” Kisa answered

“The bad news is that you may have Trichomoniasis?” the voice though the phone said.

“I’ve never heard of that” Kisa said, knowing full well what it sounded like.

“The good thing is, that is treatable with just a round of antibodies.” Tsumori said dodging the comment.

“What the heck is Trichomoniasis?” Kisa asked

“It… Its an STD.”

Kisa fell silent, “An STD.”

“It's easily treatable like i said, but you may want to refran from any sexal contact and notafy any lovers you have had in the last six months, and make sure that they get  tested as well.”

Kisa’s mind raced, he and Yukina had only been together three months and things were just starting to get serious between them. They had even had sex.

They’ve had sex.

Kisa thought of Yukina, could Yukina have it. He didn’t show any side effects, but he would have to talk to him about it.

“I understand thank you for letting me know.” Kisa said hanging up.

He rubbed his eyes. An STD out of all the lovers he has had over the years he never thought about that. In fact the only thing on his mind was how he was going to break the news to break the news to Yukina.  

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That night

“Hey you ok?” Yukina placing the bowl of salad on the table.

“Wh... what you mean?” Kisa asked breaking from his thoughts.

“Well you’ve never this quiet. Something on your mind?” He asked in his usual cheery voice.

Kisa felt his insides cringe and he wanted to throw up. He didn’t know what he was thinking,why did this have to happen now, of all times, just when things were starting to get along.

Just when he thought that things will be ok, that its was ok to let go and not care about the world around you. He knew that it had only been a month, but Kisa had realized that he truly cared for Yukina that he was different from all the others.

“I love you.”  Kisa whispered. He hadn’t realized he said it until Yukina said it back.

Kisa felt a mixture of sadness, fear, and hate come over him. How would he react to something like that. Even if it was curable how could someone bounce back for that? His whole body shivered, he felt like he was watching a scary movie and he was just waiting for the jump scare.

“Kisa-san…”

Kisa looked to his right and was met by his lovers lips. Yukina pulled him into a warm hug, to be honest this would be the than he would miss most if they ever where to part ways.  

It wouldn’t be Yukina face, or his body. It would be the warmth and safety of his arms. It's funny in a way you never appreciate the things you love most in the world, until you're at risk of losing them.

He felt something start to sting his eyes and his bottom lip trembled. Before he knew he had pulled/ pushed away form Yukina’s embrace and he covered his mouth with his hand.

Yukina immediately plied it away with one hand and cradled Kisa’s cheek with the other.

“Kisa-san, why are you crying?”

Yukina’s voice was soft but formed, it reminded Kisa of the way a father would comfort a child. Yukina would be a great father, Kisa wondered if Yukina left today, he would most likely have a girl just waiting to fall into his arms. He was still young enough to find someone that deserved his love.

I don’t deserve a guy like him, Kisa thought.

That thought caused him to unconsciously turn into yukina’s hand. At least I can enjoy his touch on last time.

“Kisa-san, you're trembling, and to be honest you're scaring me… Please tell me what’s going on?”

Kisa inhaled the sweet scent of peppermint. He hoped he would always remember this scent.

“I…” Kisa started, it sounded like a whimper and he hoped that his voice didn’t crack when he said it. Why was it so hard to say three little words?

“Are you mad at me about something or…”

“No!” Kisa snapped causing them both to jump.

“I’m sorry… It’s just… I have an STD.” Kisa felt like the world had just been lifted off his shoulders but he also wanted to sink into the ground.  

Yukina moved away from him, Kisa didn’t fight it, he didn’t dare look in his eyes. He froze under yukina’s gaze he just wanted for Yukina to hurry and scold him then leave so he could cry in peace. He sniffed and his heart raced as he waited for Yukina to respond.

Yukina had no idea how to respond. He felt if he were to say the wrong thing it would truly be over between them. He retracted back into the bed not knowing what to say. The room around him was starting to grow smaller and it was getting hard to breath.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner i just found out.” Kisa said in a timid voice.

He closed his eye, he wished that Yukina would say something, anything. “I… I’m sorry”

He opened his eyes to Yukina kissing him, then pulling him into another warm hug.

“Kisa-san… I love you.” Yukina’s breath was warm and filled with what Kisa could only call love.

“Yukina…” the word was more a question then a statement. He didn’t know what he was expecting but not this, not this warm out stretch of love.

Yukina stood up. “I’ll be back I promise.”

Kisa’s eyes grew wide as his boyfriend went near the door.

“...wait please don’t…” the words died on his lips. He didn’t want Yukina to go but he knew that he had to. He had to let him go. He trusted that Yukina would come back, if Yukina truly loved him he would come back.

Kisa sat back onto the bed not knowing what to do, and he heard a door close, he felt  his would shatter. He layed back on his bed, and smoothed himself in the sweet scent of peppermint. He forgot about the food that was placed out on the table and focused on the scent.