Worlds Away (Naruto/PJO)

Chapter 13

"Hypothetically speaking," Percy started as he opened the door to the Hokage's office, not even looking to see if anyone else was present.

"Oh, Kami," Sarutobi whispered, rubbing his forehead. "Hello, Percy."

"Hi. Hypothetically speaking, if I stole blueberries from a child, would I be arrested?"

"Did you..." The Hokage spoke slowly, already sounding done with the conversation. "Did you steal food from a child?"

"This is a hypothetical situation, Hiruzen," Percy wagged a finger at the old man. "Reality doesn't belong here. Answer the question."

"No," The man sighed. "You're just an asshole."

The god gasped so hard, he started coughing, "Hiru-chan! Who taught you such foul language?"

"You did," The Hokage said. "When I was seven."

"Oh," Percy nodded. "Oh, yeah."

"Answer me seriously, though. Did you steal blueberries from a child?"

"I can neither confirm nor deny," The god said and proceeded to open a window. "I was just curious, you know?" He gave a two-finger salute before jumping onto a nearby roof and dashing away.

Hiruzen was quiet for a moment before he spoke, addressing the ANBU hidden in the room, "Please check to see if a strange man stole food from a child. I don't trust a word that comes out of that man's mouth."

"Hai, Hokage-sama."

—
"Honestly," Percy sighed. "There is just no trust in this village."

Kakashi paused from where he was stirring noodles at the stove and turned in the god's direction, "When did you get in my apartment?"

He waved his hand in the air, "Doesn't matter. You got enough for two?"

"Sure but what about Naruto? Is he staying at the apartment by himself?"

"Nah, he's staying with Sasuke and Shikamaru at the Uchiha's place. Something about cooking real food and having a day without parental figures or whatever. I wasn't really listening to Sasuke."

"But Sasuke doesn't have a parental figure," Kakashi said, adding some salt to the pot.

"I think he was referring to you."

Kakashi sputtered for a moment, nearly sending the spoon he was stirring with onto the floor. The utensil was caught by Percy, who had stepped forward when the Hatake's back was turned. He handed it back, catching stray droplets with his hand before they could get on the floor. "Thanks. Sasuke sees me as a parental figure?"

"I don't see why you're freaking out," The god leaned on the counter next to the Jounin and crossed his arms. "It's not that farfetched. You check on him every once in a while, makes sure he has food. You're a good role model for him even if you have... Less than savory habits." He patted the man's shoulder, a cheeky grin on his face, "Congratulations, Kakashi. You're a father."

"But- I- What?" Kakashi stirred the noodles automatically, not really focused on the task as he freaked out. "Does that make you Naruto's father?"

Percy tilted his head and answered slowly, "I suppose. Though, I guess you could also say I am an older brother figure to him. I won't fully know unless I ask him."

"Will you? Ask him, I mean," Kakashi gestured at the cabinet behind the god, raising an eyebrow.

Percy opened it, grabbing two bowls, "No, I don't think I should. This is new territory for Naruto. I don't want to overwhelm him or anything. I want him to come to a conclusion by himself."

"Well, considering the fact that he's with Shikamaru and Sasuke and not with any 'parental figures,' I'm sure he's thinking about it." Kakashi opened a drawer, pulling out some chopsticks and two spoons.

"Probably," The green-eyed man nodded, holding out a bowl for the Hatake to fill. What's the plans for tomorrow? Another D-rank?"

"Most likely," Kakashi nodded, gesturing for the next bowl. "They need to work on their teamwork."

"While I'm with you on that, the kids will only feel like they're being looked down on if you keep assigning them D-ranks. You should tell them that, if they work together well on the next two D-ranks, you'll consider asking the Hokage for a C-rank."

"You think it'll work?"

"Alarmingly well," Percy nodded, taking some of the food to the Hatake's small dining table. "They're dumbasses like that."

"That's not polite."

"I'm not here to be polite," The god sat down, clicking his chopsticks together in the ninja's direction. "I'm here to make life difficult for the Hokage or whatever."

"Why would you do that? I mean, I'm not going to stop you, I'm just curious," Kakashi raised an eyebrow, not touching his food quite yet.

Percy shrugged, "Messing with ANBU here, vandalizing shit there. You know, just small things."

"Right," Kakashi nodded. "Sounds easy."

The god smirked, "You should help, it'll be fun."

The Hatake felt himself mirror his expression, "Sure. Why not?"

"Cool." Percy opened a scroll and held out a plastic container, "Blueberry?"

--

"Alright, Naruto, you mix while Sasuke adds in the ingredients," Shikamaru said as he walked the two through a cookie recipe.

"Do you think Percy acted weird when I told him I was hanging out with you guys?" Naruto asked as he started mixing, "What if he doesn't want me to be here?"

"He does," Sasuke responded, adding in the egg yolk. "I think he was trying not to laugh when I told him we wanted time without parental figures..."

Shikamaru sighed, "Troublesome. You do know he told your sensei, right?"

Naruto and Sasuke looked at the Nara with wide eyes, "What?"

The brunette shook his head, "Sasuke, it's obvious your parental figure would be Kakashi since he is the only adult with you often. It's obvious who's Naruto's."

The blonde stopped mixing for a moment, looking down at the half-finished dough, "You think Percy's like a parent?"

Shikamaru and Sasuke shared a look before the Nara spoke, "Well, yeah. He could be seen as an older brother, too. He takes care of you, provides for you. There's no doubt he considers you family," He said. "You should talk to him about it."

Naruto didn't respond, resuming mixing, and Sasuke silently continued to pour the rest of the ingredients, leaving the conversation alone for now.

--

"Hey," Percy smiled at Naruto as the blonde walked inside the apartment. "There's ramen in the fridge, are you hungry?"

The blonde shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, "No, I ate a lot of cookies. Oh, Sasuke told me to give you these," he held out a small container of cookies.

The god took it, eyebrows raising, "Aw, I knew he liked me. Thank you. You should head to bed now, we have to wake up early for our mission."

"'Kay," Naruto yawned, walking down the hall. "'Night, dad," He waved, entering his room.

Percy froze, eyes wide, before he smiled softly, "Good night, Naruto."