Hunting Cheaters | ✓

24 | Hold

My cheek almost stung at how much his words felt like a slap to the face. I could feel tears burning my eyes when I looked up to catch him watching me closely. "I can afford to lose everyone and be fine. You know that."

He let out another sigh, defeat taking hold of his features. "You know that's not what I meant. You can survive and live without her, but why do it when you don't have to? When life can be much fuller and happier with her around?"

"How am I supposed to trust her again? How can I ever believe that my life can be whole again with her in it?" My voice fell apart along with my reserve. "She broke the one relationship I trusted to withstand anything."

Instead of saying anything else, he opened up his arms and reached for me with a, "come here." I immediately undid my seat belt to lunge into his hold. His warmth wrapped me up fast, inducing calmness over me. I blinked, letting my tears fall onto his shirt. There was a lump in my throat and the need to cry over something I felt was unsavable. But the tears wouldn't come. I was all dried out after crying every day, trying and failing to muster up the courage to think about starting to forgive her. It hurt too much. When I thought about it too long, I always felt l like my heart was going to implode, taking my sanity with it.

So, I push everything to the back of my mind, lock the door and move on with my day.

Today was no different.

After a while, once my breaths had slowed, all I let myself feel was him. I pushed everything else away. It hurt too much to think. To feel the betrayal, to allow me to even consider letting it in, wasn't an option. I can handle a lot, but that...this...it was too much.

Hunter ran his fingers into my hair, massaging my temples every now and then. "What do you want, Liv?"

My eyebrows furrowed and I looked up to catch his eyes. "What do you mean?"

"What do you want out of life?"

I shrugged, "Uh, the CFO spot...to visit Versailles...you."

His lips widened at the last part. He grabbed my chin between his fingers and raised my face up so we could better face each other. "If you get all those things-"

"-if? You mean to tell me you're not mine?" I interrupted with a sly smile.

He shook his head at me. "Baby, I'm trying to be serious."

"So am I." The look he gave me in response made me drop whatever coy comment was on my tongue. "Okay, fine."

"As I was saying, if it all works out, you wouldn't mind not having your mom with you?"

"Of course I do," the words left my mouth before I could think. Damn his eyes. I couldn't think straight enough to lie when he looked at me like that.

He smiled. "Okay then."

I shook my head in defense. "But it still hurts, Hunter. I can't think about her without feeling like my heart is gonna burst. How am I supposed to reach out if I can't even do that?"

"You don't have to do anything right now. Just keep an open mind on reconciliation and when the time is right for you, you reach out," he said, pushing my hair behind my ear.

I took in a deep breath, shuddering as I exhaled. He made it all sound so simple. "You think I can get over it?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. It really depends on how you feel in the end."

I eyed him. "But aren't you trying to convince me to talk to her?"

"No, I just don't want you closing yourself off from this issue only to realize later what a big mistake it was. I did it and it was hell. I don't want you to go through that." The truth was written all over his face. His smile had waned and it hurt to see the frown that was beginning to replace it.

"It not that easy," I mumbled.

A short breath escaped him and although he didn't say it, I knew I'd cut him deep. "I know it's not, trust me, I know."

I swallowed hard, reaching for his hand. "That's not what I meant. I know how hard everything with Peter and the guys is and I see how hard you're working to get to a good place."

"And all I'm trying to say is that you can do the same if it is what you want."

I let out a long breath, turning away from him. After a rather long moment of silence, I whispered, "I'm scared," with a break in my voice.

He moved in closer. "Of?"

I looked out the window, refusing to look at him. "Of not wanting to mend my relationship with her. What if I never forgive her or want her in my life again?"

"Then that's okay. What she did was serious and it caused you a lot of hurt, it has for a long time. It's more than fair for you to take the time to heal. And if in the end, you choose to stay away, that's good. If you choose to forgive her and let her back in, that's good, too," he said simply.

I turned to look at him. "Really?"

He nodded. "It's your life, Liv."

I gulped. "I guess it is."

He laughed and I gave him a questioning look. When he caught it, he laughed even more and although I sat there confused, I couldn't help but smile at the infectious sound.

"You guess it is your life?"

I nodded slowly, questioning why that was significant.

"It's just not something you'd have said when we first met."

That made me laugh. "I was cold-hearted then, can you blame me?"

He shrugged. "Not if you don't blame me for being an emotionless ass."

I grinned. "I won't if you don't."

He returned my smile. "Deal."

I looked down at my phone, unlocking it to stare at the missed call notification. "I want to want to forgive her. It hurts not knowing what's going to happen."

"I know," he said softly, reaching for my hand. He grabbed it tightly, offering me support. I took it willingly, letting it fill up my low supply.

"I feel like we've been here for ages," I commented, putting my phone back in my purse.

"We were having a serious conversation."

"In front of your sister's house..."

"Doesn't matter. We talked and dealt with it for now. That's all that matters," he said simply, restarting the car.

I shook my head. "Smartass."

"But you love me."

"Hell yeah I do," I said, "especially that ass."

He snorted, but leaned in for a long peck. "You need a nap."

To be fair, he wasn't wrong.

"Then take me home."

~~~

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