Hunting Cheaters | ✓

23 | Giddy

She sniffed, her tears falling. "Baby, I'm so sorry. I meant to tell you one day. This isn't the sort of thing you tell a child."

"I'm not a child anymore! I haven't been one for a long time. I deserved to know!"

Nodding fast, she tried to wipe her tears away. "I know. I know. You did. I should've been the one to tell you. You shouldn't have found out by yourself."

"I didn't," I bit out. Out of instinct, I almost felt bad for speaking to her this way. But she betrayed me in such a way that all I could see were her lies.

She flinched but didn't say more. "What do you mean?"

I groaned. "That is not the point! What happened between you and Noah?"

It was as though the sound of his name was a slap to her face. "It was...we were young. Too young. It was a one-night thing and neither of us was in the mood to settle down anytime soon. Once I found out about you, I didn't want to drag him into a relationship when there wasn't anything much between us. I thought it would've set a bad example for you to be in a broken family. He got into a serious relationship soon after anyway, so I thought it best to stay quiet."

"So you never told him about me?" I breathed out harshly, trying to fight off the lump in my throat. 

"I thought it would only hurt you more," she cried, begging me with her eyes to believe her.

I shook my head, the inevitable tears falling. I didn't try to wipe them or keep them at bay. I felt weak, sitting there, listening to my mom obliterate everything I thought I knew. "Not having a father hurt more," I whispered, knowing my voice would fail me if I spoke out loud.

She scooted closer to me, a painful sob escaping her. "It wasn't supposed to be this way."

My heart was fracturing and all I could do to keep myself together was push her away, no matter how alien it felt. "But it is, mom," I cleared my throat, trying to sound stronger, "you can't keep telling me it was never meant to be like this. I grew up without a father, thinking he abandoned me when it wasn't the case at all." 

"I know-"

"-No, I don't think you know!" I cried, "It broke me. I questioned why he didn't want me every day and eventually, I became bitter. It consumed years of my life I'll never get back! I became a person who did so much wrong, so much I can't undo!"

"I only thought it was for the best. I really did. I wanted you to grow up without the struggles of having a broken home. At best, he and I would've been a couple, maybe if he and his then-girlfriend had broken up. But I feared we'd break up and that would only bring more harm to you." She was pleading with me to hear her out. I was hearing her words, but my heart was too broken and my mind too tired to listen.

My head shook at her, my tears wetting my hands. My body was pulling me towards her arms. I wanted her to hold me, to tell me everything was going to be alright. But how can I? She kept my father from me. She broke my heart. She shattered my childhood. "You were wrong."

Her eyes widened at my flattening tone. "Sweetheart, don't do this. Please. You know I only want the best for you. I was young and I know I messed up. I wish I could go back and fix it, but I can't."

I harshly wiped my tears, trying to get them to stop. "Mom, you didn't lie to me about Santa Clause. You lied to me about my father abandoning me! It's not something I can just move past! He and I will never get back the time we lost! We'll never be as close as I wanted when I was a child. I'll never have that!"

She scooted a bit closer but my eyes stopped her before she could get too close. Her eyes fell to her knees and she closed them for a second before pulling on a small breath and looking up at me again. "Okay. What can I do? What can I do to make it all okay again? You're my baby, Olivia, I can't handle seeing you in pain."

I forced myself to ignore the quiver in her words. "I need some time," I breathed out, shuddering, "alone."

"Oli-"

"-No, mom, no. You can't talk me out of this. I am so mad at you right now and I'm so afraid of saying something I'll regret. I need a few days to calm down," I stood abruptly, my skin felt sweaty and I didn't like the way my heart was beating. I needed to leave. I knew I was hurting her. I could see it in her eyes. Her cries were too loud in my ear and I knew they'd torture me over the next couple of days. Hurting her was hurting me, but I needed this. Everything felt wrong as if all in my world had suddenly been knocked out of place. "I love you," I whispered, placing my hand over her shoulder. "I'm not pushing you away, I promise. I'll be back."

She put her hand on top of mine and looked up at me. "Okay," she sniffed, her words in opposition to that look in her eyes, "take all the time you need. I'll be here whenever you're ready to talk." She stood and brought me into the tightest bear hug. "I love you, baby, please keep that in mind."

I kissed her cheek and nodded, pulling away. "I will."

She nodded back and my heart contorted painfully. I turned to leave, giving her an awkward wave. When the fresh air finally hit my face, I felt like I was breathing properly for the first time since I stepped into the house. My body felt wrecked. My tears were not stopping, no matter what I tried. And when my eyes caught Hunter playing around on his phone as he waited for me in his car, the lodge in my throat worsened and I burst into sobs.

I ran to his car and got in.

"Hey, how'd it go?" he asked, turning to offer me a warm smile. As soon as he caught sight of me though, his smile vanished. A somber and worried look took over his features. He immediately reached for me, bringing me into an embrace. I fell into him immediately, my arms lacing around his neck to hold on as I cried into his chest. My cries got worse and worse as the reality of what just happened fully dawned on me. At that moment, I swear I actually felt my heart shatter. My sobs were loud, but none of them could ease the pain that was engulfing me. I felt like I was drowning in it. Hunter ran his fingers through my hair and let me cry. I tried focusing on his breathing to try and stop my tears. My throat was hurting and my eyes felt like they were running out of tears. I don't know how long we sat like that, me crying uncontrollably as he just held me. Eventually, the tears slowed and my cries stopped. My body must have run out of tears, because the pain was still there, strong as ever. 

I sniffed and pulled my arms from his neck. Wiping my face, I cleared my throat. When I looked up to meet Hunter's eyes, the sadness I saw there reinforced my reality.   

When I couldn't handle the look in his eyes any longer, I put on my seat belt and shrugged. "Noah was telling the truth. She lied to me."

He nodded slowly, reaching up to wipe away the tears I missed. "Why did she do it?"

"I was their accident during a one-night stand," I leaned into his arm, the contact giving me the strength I needed not to breakdown again, "and she thought I was better off without knowing him, without a broken family."

After a moment of silence, he let out a long breath. "How are you doing?"

His question sliced right through me. The calmness I thought I'd gotten back evaporated from my control. I rested my head back against the headrest, hoping that gravity would be powerful enough to suck my tears back in. "Just take me home. Please."

He didn't fight me. Instead, he started the car and put it in drive. He only placed his hand on my lap, offering me his strength, before driving away.

I placed my hand over his and breathed out slowly, trying to let his warmth calm my aching heart.

~~~

(please don't forget to comment and vote. thank you so much for all the support)

- what are your thoughts on this chapter?

- what are your thoughts on Olivia and her mom?

- what are your thoughts on the situation with Olivia's father?