Forgotten Love? (Shizaya fanfic)

No good

I'm very sorry for not updating sooner, but I've been stressed lately and I'm also writing a book, so I don't know what to work on. I'm trying to be more strict now.

I know the last chapter wasn't very and I'm trying to make longer chapters. Just so you are warned, it doesn't make sense at all :T! And don't be mad with my way of writing, I live in Switzerland, so my vocabulary isn't very good.

Izaya's P.O.V

"IIIZAAAYAAA! GET OVER HERE YOU FLEA! I'LL KILL YA WITH MY OWN HANDS!"

Shizuo's voice echoed back from the walls of the ally we were standing in. I dodged a flying vending machine and laughed. "I didn't even get a scratch! Can you even aim?" I dodged a street sign, that shot towards me.

"Don't mock me, dammit! It's your fault that I'm mad, so let me get a punch in!", he vociferated and cracked his fists. "Come on, Shizu~chan! Have a little fun for once!", I suggested and smiled brightly. I heard an angry yell from across the road. The Shizuo-Rampage has begun. I turned around and walked away, simulating as if it had been my intention to make him angry.

My shoulders started to tremble. I bet Shizu~chan thought I was laughing. Warm water streamed down my face. Shizuo Heiwajima. He used to be a young boy, who had problems controlling his anger and always let it out with a huge rampage. A young boy who showed another boy what it meant to love someone. What it meant to be cared about. But who forgot everything about me. I wiped away the tears and walked on.

"IIIZAAAYAA! COME BACK HERE AND FACE ME, YOU BASTARD!", he yelled. I continued walking, ignoring the aching of my heart. It hurt. It hurt so much. Why couldn't it just stop? It should stop... Yameru! (*For the ones who can't speak Japanese, it means 'stop'*)

An arm shot out of the dark and blocked my way. "You won't get away this time, flea." "What do you want?", I asked and stared to the ground, trying to hide my face from him.

"Look at me.", he demanded uncolored. I faintly shook my head. "I don't want to see you. Not now." "What happened to the 'oh so happy Izaya' from before?", he asked interrogatively, his hand still on the wall and looked down on me.

"I said, I don't want to see you!", I cried. I tried to push him away, but I was no match against his brute strength. He didn't even budge. As my hand rested on his chest, I felt a raindrop falling on my head. Another one followed until it started pouring down like buckets. I glanced up to the sky, a drop immediately falling into my left eye. "Ouch. Didn't know something like that could hurt." I rubbed it until it stopped burning.

"Did I do something wrong?", Shizuo asked in a low-key tune. "Huh? What do you mean?", I asked surprised. Suddenly he pinned me to the wall, by *wall slamming* me with both hands. (*wall slamming someone is a thing they do in mangas. It's pretty common ^-^*) Then he looked down on me. His face was dripping with water from the rain. He had this I-know-I-did-something-wrong-so-tell-me-what-it-waslook on his face. I avoided his eyes.

He took my chin in his fingers and forced me to stare at him. I tried to pull away, but he held me in place. He startled as he saw my red eyes. "Wait a minute. Did you cry?" I looked at him and tried to hide the fact that I was too flustered, to think at the moment, with asking the only question that came to my mind. "What?"

"Your eyes are all red!", he exclaimed and cupped my face in his hands, so that he could examine it. I startled, cause of his action, and quickly wiped over my eyes with my sleeve. "No, I wasn't! You're imagining things again!"

"No, I'm not! Ahh, you can be so annoying sometimes!", he said loudly. "As if you would be any better!", I fought back. "And why did you take my face in your hands? It was embarrassing.", I asked flustered. Why did he always do so awkward things to me? Wasn't it good enough for god to let me have to hold back so much?

"What? Did you hate it that much?", he snapped. "Yes!" No. I didn't want to say that.

Shizuo's face darkened up. "Okay, then the next time tell me. Otherwise I could misunderstand! You get that, asshole? It was nothing! It never happened, okay!" He let go of me and went back a few meters and took a cigarette out of his butler outfit, he always wore. "You can't even blame yourself. For you, always the others are at fault. That's sad, Shizu-chan." I sighed. He broke his fresh cigarette into two pieces and slammed his head against mine. "You wanna fight, or what?!" If I wouldn't have stood against the wall, Shizuo would have sent me flying. "You flea! I'll never be able to have a serious conversation with you, or will you always be the annoying bastard from Ikebukuro?"

"I don't know, but the same goes for me! You're so hung up on hating me, that you don't even notice what happens around you! The only thing you realize is the hate you feel towards me!", I uttered.

"If you can't talk to me, then why don't you just fuck off!", he hissed, and I gladly accepted the demand. I didn't want to be around him any longer. I turned around and stomped away. Shizuo did the same, but in the opposite direction.

Why would Shizu-chan do something like that to me, if he didn't mean anything by it?! Did he just want to play with my feelings? Is it that obvious, that I like him? I kicked a small stone away and it jumped around until it disappeared into the ally. I walked around aimlessly for a long period of time and my head had no thoughts at all in it. It was as blank as a sheet of paper. I observed some humans from afar and had to laugh at a girl, who's heart just got broken from some guy she loved. How pathetic. Although I love humanity, I hate it when something reminds me of the relationship, I currently have with Shizuo. Well currently probably isn't the right word. I don't think it will change so it's just a relationship that doesn't change (search for synonym for change). I should maybe just go home. After all, I don't have anything better to do outside.

I opened the door of my apartment and turned on the light. Home, sweet home. It hasn't changed at all, since the last time, I was here. Because I sleep in hotels often, I don't go home much. Every time I come in, I (J-)hope (*Sorry, I just had to do that. I'm a too big of an army <3*) that something got different, then the last time, but obviously there was no change. I mean, how could there be one, when I don't make one?

I took my shoes of and went straight to my room. Then I stuck my head into my cushion and yelled. I yelled as loud as I could, until it ended up in crying. Why? Why can't I just face it? He would never like me, not even mentioning that he would remember me from früher (*I couldn't find a good word for it, but some examples would be: earlier, previously. They just don't fit to well*). The only thing he thinks about is hating and killing me or being angry af at me. We couldn't even talk normally together. Something like my imagination, where we would live together as a happy family, would never become reality! Get it together, Izaya! He'll never think of you like that! Although he was very gentle with me, when I cried. What if I wouldn't have said, I wasn't crying? Would Shizu-chan have held me in a tight embrace, like the when we were children? NO! I can't imagine things like that anymore! Stop beating so fast, you stupid heart!!

After arguing with myself for a long time, I slowly got sleepy. That's why, I forced myself to stand up and switched of the light on my desk, before to go to dreamland.

Thanks to all of you guys out there who are reading this fan fiction.

I hope you enjoyed <3