Something real

Chapter 9

Home.

When I got home in North Carolina it didn't feel like arriving anywhere. It felt different from when I left. It seemed like a different town with one of it's best residents missing. 

Aunt Lea says that it's okay to love Toby but maybe I should stay here. I wouldn't know what my uncle thinks about it because I haven't even seen him yet. I don't think Aunt Lea knows how serious our actual relationship is but she's looking at it from very pro-college point of view. 

With Toby, it's the most I've felt alive in a long time.

But there is logic in staying here and going to college like I've been planning and looking forward to for four years.

There's nothing worse, to me, than not knowing where to go, or who to please. I don't know what I want, which has always been my problem. All I'm sure of is the person I'm in love with, just had their heart shattered because their father is dying.

~

Three days have past and I haven't gotten any closer to knowing what to do. Uncle Liam almost said I couldn't leave here but Aunt Lea gave him a look I've never seen her make before. I guess she wants me to go now...I'm trying as hard as I can to push these thoughts out of my head and I run down the shore line. I don't maneuver over a rock soon enough and end up on the ground, but I just stay there, not having the energy or desire to stand back up.

My only other company on the beach is a small crab walking around about ten feet away. I focus my attention back on the sky. It's gray, cloudy, faded, and tired looking. Usually I could think of some quote someone said to help get through this, or listen to my heart, or whatever. But I can't think of any wise words and my heart is silent.

The only thing that comes to mind is "If I was in Toby's position what would he do?"

~

"You're sure about your decision?"

My aunt asked me from across the dinner table.

"Very sure."

"Okay, then I support you."

She said offering a warm smile.

I wasn't sure how to tell Toby my decision over the phone.. it just didn't feel right. So instead of picking up the phone I found myself picking my suitcase up at baggage claim after I reached Alaska the next day.

After a couple of minutes of lingering by the house I finally walked up the short walkway and rang the doorbell. I'm expecting Toby to answer the door, which isn't surprising when he does, since his mother barely ever leaves her husband's side.

His eyes were a bit wide and surprised, then he just seemed a bit confused.

"Alex what are-"

I cut him off quickly

"I made a decision."

I said, locking eyes with him.

"College has been my plan for a long time. Falling in love with someone isn't my top priority right now..but neither is..." I take a deep breath, my words stumbling and getting mixed up in my head.

"I'm staying here with you." I say, basically blurting it out. This isn't how I imagined this would happen. I thought, I don't know, it'd be more heart felt, more movie-like. But that's not how life works. People will hurt you, leave you, make mistakes, get really sick...shit like this happens all the time. You can't stop it from happening. But when it happens to someone you love, the least you can do is be there for them, no matter what.

Toby breathes out, his eyes drop to the ground.

"You should go home..its not fair.."

"Toby. You...a house isn't a home or town..home is when I am with you. You taught me the kind of love I deserve,"

I push the door open, stepping inside, so I can be closer to him.

"Let me teach you too."

His eyes finally looked up, some of the light finally returning to them.

~

A/N

I didn't end up writing as often as I planned but thanks for reading & I hope you like the story!