Hunger Games short stories/headcannons

Johanna Two

I continued this one, and I've even considered making it a full story. What do you think?

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I rise from the ground slowly, and turn to my bedroom to take a shower. My heart doesn't want me to keep moving, it just wants to collapse and die, but my head tells me to keep going. To show President Snow I'm okay, that he didn't affect me. To seem inhuman.

I let them each go in my mind. Damen. Ace. My mom. My dad. And then I call Finnick. I have to talk to someone, and I know he'll understand.

"Johanna?" His voice is laced with worry already. You don't use your phone." 

"Well, I do now." 

"What's wrong?" Finnick's voice is normally kidding, but he knows I don't call. Not even him. I just see him every year at the Games. That's enough for us. Normally.

"President Snow... We can't talk here, can we?" I hear my voice breaking as I talk, already husky with tears. 

"No. We can't, but we will anyway I suppose."

"President Snow killed Damen and my family." Blunt and straight to the point. I feel the tears coming. It's with ferocity that I fight them to stay back. I will not cry. I will not cry again. Not on the phone where Snow can hear me. Not in this house where he can see me.

"Are you joking?" Finnick's voice is without any belief. He's seen Snow do terrible things, mistreat people in horrifying ways, and yet he won't believe my family is gone.

"I'm not. They're in Ace's bedroom. Well except for Damen, he's somewhere in the woods."

"Why did he do it?"

"I refused to do what you do." I don't want to say it like that. Don't want my words to come off as accusing or cruel to the man who does as asked for Annie's sake. But I do.

He's silent for a moment. "I understand why you wouldn't want to say the word. Much less do it."

"Finnick, why did I refuse? I was so selfish." I feel blood coming from my lip as I bite down harder and harder.

"No you weren't Johanna. You just didn't believe he would actually hurt you. I didn't believe he would either.  But now they're gone. The games are in a few days, can we talk more there?"

I nod as if he can see me, then realize. "Of course." I know better than to plot reveng on the phone.

"Goodbye Johanna."

"Bye Finnick." 

It takes everything in me not to drop straight to the ground. Everything in me to be strong.

Finnick is strong and more loving than I. He did what President Snow asked, and Annie is still alive. Poor Annie with the mental issues, but she's still alive. Everyone I love is gone. Everyone except maybe Finnick. And it's my fault. If I had just agreed... I shake my head. Snow did it. Not me.

Snow has to pay.

Not me.

I will not pay for another's murder and I will not cry over another's death until vegeance has done as it desires.