Dating Diaries of a Single B!tch

Entry 29)Caring For Two People At Once

It took me a moment to register what it was he was saying with that question. He was attracted to me!!! Pretty soon after that, we enjoyed our very first date. It was the first date I've ever had where I felt totally at ease with a guy. There was no pressure to be someone I'm not and we never fell into awkward silences. I felt completely at ease as if I had known Darren my entire life. Without really being genuinely aware of what was happening, we fell into a relationship. 

I know what you're thinking...FINALLY our favorite single B!tch has found someone! Being with Darren is so easy. We get along great! But a sad realization soon eclipsed my happiness with him. It wouldn't be until a month into dating  that I realized we didn't share a passionate spark. It took him a month to pluck up the courage to kiss me, and it took me less than a minute to realize I didn't feel too much passion in our kissing. Don't get me wrong, kissing Darren wasn't bad, but it wasn't enticing that made me desire another kiss constantly. But knowing I didn't have great experience in the dating field, I decided to ignore the lack of physical intimacy in my relationship with Darren and continue seeing him. Why shouldn't I? He's an amazing guy and he treats me like a princess. 

Soon after Darren and I began dating, I discovered there was more to my supervisor Mateo then met the eye. He wasn't as much of a jerk as I originally thought. Oh, he was one, but it turned out he was also possesses a quiet intellectual side that he doesn't show off too often. Mateo noticed right away that I had a strong love for reading. One day he started a polite conversation regarding his own love for reading. He made a philosophical comment that the reason he loves to read is not only because he enjoys an engaging story, but because sometimes disappearing into a good book can help escape from reality.  It was a moment that lasted maybe less than ten minutes, but it caused our dynamic to shift. Mateo and I no longer verbally squabbled as much as we did. Our conversations were becoming friendly, even. His teasing me wasn't as harsh as it used to be, and he even started to teach me little tricks to make certain aspects of our job easier. We weren't exactly friends but we became friendly.

It was nice slowly becoming friends with others in my new department. Meanwhile, Darren and I started advancing our relationship in what I suppose was known as becoming "serious". He started coming over to my house to pick me up for dates. He met my parents and my siblings, and he brought me home to meet his own family. Everyone got along great! My family loves Darren and I loved every member of his family. Dating Darren is beyond comfortable. He's so laid back and we get along great. There has never before been a guy who hasn't been freaked out that I have a lot of siblings. There was the lack of passion in our kissing (along with the extreme lack of making out of any sort...) but I've equated that to the fact that he has Aspergers Syndrome. I was definitely overthinking this, Darren was/is talking about marriage! It's not his fault he doesn't care for physical contact as much as I would prefer. Once spring came and there was no more snow covering the ground, Darren went back to the golf course full time.

We kept in touch through text message and facebook, but we didn't see each other more than once a week after that. One random day at work a couple weeks later, Mateo came back to work after being out of town for a while. It was a chaotic day where there were tons of customers all over the building and way too much to do in regards tearing down and setting up a building. I was busy doing  two different things at once while a coworker was babbling about the differences between the restaurants at the resort we work at.  Well, Mateo turned the corner and when I saw him for the first time in a while, the  biggest smile took over my face and it felt involuntary. I was just that happy to see him. Strangely, Mateo returned my mega-wat smile as well. It was as if both of us were suddenly aware we were stupidly smiling at each other because I hurried away awkwardly and Mateo looked to be blushing. A few more instances occurred the next few days where I would catch him watching me and vice versa. I've never been a cheater and never thought for a moment I liked him more than a friend until a random afternoon. Mateo asked what the names were of my two female coworkers from my old department because another coworker of ours wanted to look them up on facebook. That moment really bothered me but I didn't show it. The idea that my coworker from my old department, the really mean & bitchy girl, could date my sarcastic antagonist supervisor?! That she could date my Mateo?! I was bitter at the thought and so very annoyed. And then, there it suddenly was, the horrid realization that I looked at the pale-blue eyed Mateo as mine.