Entry 29)Caring For Two People At Once

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"All Good Things"  by Nelly Furtado

Long time no see, eh followers of this diary? I've neglected this book for a very long time. I have so many things keeping me busy that I really shouldn't be wasting time updating this. I've got a full-time job, multiple Wattpad stories to finish  now that I've got a laptop again, and a manuscript to prepare for publishing. Throw in a rambunctious new puppy and some other crazy stuff going on in my family and it's a recipe for chaos. 

But I can't not write this down. It isn't even because I've always said I would update every last detail of my love life no matter how painful it was. I simply have to put it down on paper (Well, virtual paper) because maybe if I can read it for myself I'll finally be able to catch my breath and I'll no longer feel like such  a horrible person. So, here we go with this entry. I find myself in a very bizarre love triangle that I think existed for a long time but I'm only now giving in to the realization that it does. I care about two different guys.

So remember two entries ago? I picked up a second job in another department? Well, earlier this year I ended up transferring to that department full-time. I got tired with how my old manager treated his employees. So, I transferred to be in a better work environment. Only I didn't realize when I made the transfer to this new department that I was going to a place that was an all-male environment. At the time of the transfer I didn't really notice nor care. I was too preoccupied with getting better pay and not having to deal with the annoying politics of my old department. 

I found early on that my new boss and my assistant manager were utterly useless in regards to training newcomers. Meeting *Darren was amazing. He was my saving grace that first week and then that first month in regards to training me and being my friend. He wasn't afraid to talk to me, the new girl, the proverbial alien among the humans. Even though the guys among my new department had seen me before when I was picking up hours, none of us had ever really conversed. I was the only female along with being very quiet, so I was ignored by almost all of my new male coworkers. Darren was quiet as well but I could tell right away we both shared a kinship of being outsiders in the banquet setup department. I wasn't wrong. We bonded over our lack of friends in the department as well as bonded over how goofy we found the younger guys we worked with. Given Darren works on the golf course and was only in the same department as me to pick up hours, he was already well aware that if not for him, no one else was going to bother to train me in the department because no one trained him.

During my first week I also met my supervisor *Mateo, the other guy in my awkward love triangle. He's a quietly loud individual where you wouldn't know that he talks unless you get him talking about something he's interested in. Given I was shy around everyone minus our boss, I never tried conversing with him. Our first conversation was during my first month of work.  Mateo surprised me by initiating conversation. He asked how I was enjoying this department. I politely replied that I liked it but I found it odd that no one was willing to train me. Without batting an eyelash Mateo explained  it was because no one was expecting me to last working here so there wasn't a point in bothering to train me. He went on to say there was too much heavy lifting and far too much to remember, I probably wouldn't last the month. He was quite serious and very unapologetic regarding his brutal honesty. From that moment I decided I didn't like him and made a point to avoid him. But Mateo was indifferent to my obvious dislike. He'd randomly pick on me for outrageously stupid things merely to tease or to get a rise out of me. From that point on we bickered whenever he felt the need to engage me in a petty verbal argument. 

About another month passed and Darren and I became really good friends. I thought he was cute but I didn't think he liked me more than a friend. But soon enough, Darren and I started spending all of our free time at work talking to each other. We enjoyed the same music and the same movies. When I was really sick one night at work, Darren left on his break to buy me cold medicine. It was so, so sweet! A week later, a random creepy guy from a neighboring department kept watching me with what Darren dubbed "Rapey eyes".  Well...he was right, the guy was creepy. We weren't being cruel. This guy is married with three kids yet had a bad fascination with staring at young women. Well one night after a creepy staring session, I had groaned and quietly complained to Darren the reason the guy was staring was because I only attract weirdos. Darren perked his head up to look at me in surprise. "You think I'm a weirdo?" 

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