Three: Love

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    Don't your parents love you? I wish. At least...I wished they loved me more. I stared at the ceiling of my room in the dark. Sighing, I got out of bed and headed downstairs to get a midnight snack. As I pulled out an apple from the fridge, I thought about my life. Why was I never good enough? I always had straight A's. I tried to participate in as many activities as I could without my schedule overloading and my anxiety getting the best of me, but it never seemed to be enough for them. They even told me themselves that they would love me more if I worked harder. I bit down into my apple angrily.

    I AM trying my best. What? Do they think I can just get straight A's with no effort involved? I really wanted to just scream into the night and release all my stress, but it was cold outside and I didn't want to wake up any neighbors with my angry screaming. Nibbling on my apple, I thought of what I didn't do right. Sure, I was a bit lazy sometimes, and I lied to them just so I could get out of doing something, but everyone does that.

    I scoffed to myself, I bet that they've convinced themselves that they've never done that before and that they're basically perfect. I finished eating my apple and threw away the core and washed my hands in the sink. I went back to my bedroom as quietly as I could and buried myself under the blanket. I sighed. I just wanted all this disappointment from my parents to end. All the nagging from my parents to end. All the arguments we've had to end. The gaping hole of anxiety in my stomach to end. I tossed and turned until I fell asleep.

    BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

    I shut off the alarm clock and stumbled out of bed. I did my daily bathroom routine, ate breakfast, dressed up for the cold, and headed outside. I scrolled through my phone looking for something to do on there until the bus arrived when a thought popped into my mind.

    Do my parents even love me at all? I shook my head and laughed at myself, earning a few weird stares from the other people standing around. I smiled nervously at them before staring at my phone, mindlessly scrolling through the app I was in.

    Of course your parents love you (Y/N). Don't be silly! Suddenly, I heard the bus roaring, and I put my phone in my pocket. The bus screeched to a stop, and we all stepped inside and went to our familiar seats. I pondered for bit. Why did that question even pop into my head? Nothing just COMES to you randomly. You have to be familiar or already know it. Kind of like how all the faces in your dreams are the faces of people you've seen before, whether you know the person or not. I closed my eyes and rested my head on the seat of the bus. I didn't want to think of that possibility.

    Time Skip!

    I entered my home and went to my room to unpack my school stuff. As I unpacked and started on my homework, I heard my mom call out for me.

    "(Y/N)! Are you doing your homework?" I rolled my eyes and sighed. Then, I yelled back. "Yep! I'm going to do it right after finish unpacking my backpack!" I finished my unpacking, did my homework, did my other activities, and then dinner came by. My parents were discussing work while I aimlessly shovelled food into my mouth. Suddenly, I opened my mouth to talk.

    "Do you love me?" My parents ignored me and continued their conversation. My eye slightly twitched at my parents ignoring me. "I asked you a question. Do. You. Love me?" My dad sighed and glared at me.

    "Of course we do. Don't be an idiot." Then, he continued his conversation with his wife.

    "But why?"

    "Because you're our child. Now shut up. Your mom and I are trying to have a conversation." I could hear his annoyance dripping into his voice.

    "Any other reason you love me? Give me at least three."

    "Why are you being so stupid. Do I need to hit you?!" I immediately shut up after that. I never liked being hit. But then again, who did? However, even though my mouth had shut, my mind was buzzing with the same thought.

Do my parents love me?

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