What A Lie Looks Like | ✓

2.29: sephine

I feel like something is missing, like some part of me is gone now, and I don't understand it. I pull the blanket off of my feet and force them to hang over the bed as my chest now screams at me to stop, but I don't care.

"What are you doing? You can't get out of bed yet." Hayes tries to reason, but I ignore him. my legs are wobbly, and I tilt straight into him. "Please let me help you back into the bed."

"No," I sob, hitting him weakly. I try to take another step, but I pitch forward, unable to keep myself upright. I feel so goddamn helpless.

"Shit," He mutters, and he moves in front of me again to keep me from falling. "Please just get back into the bed." He pleads, and I shake my head, wiping my tears away.

"I'm taking a shower to get everything off of me, and I'm doing it with or without your help." I start to push myself off of him again, determined to wash the blood off me, and remove the lasting touch of Sascha.

I need it off.

He stares at me, not wanting to give in, but he also doesn't want to tell me no. "Okay, can you walk or do you want me to-"

I let out a shaky breath wincing as it echoes throughout my body. "Just help me, please."

Hayes wraps his arm to support me, but he's careful not to apply too much pressure. I'm incredibly thankful for him as we move slowly towards the bathroom, each step agonizing, but it'll be worth it if I can just get everything off of me.

I grab the counter in the bathroom to keep myself from falling as Hayes turns the water on in the shower. I don't recognize the person staring back at me.

She has maroon stains of dried blood streaking through her hair, her grey eyes are empty, and her face is pale with a cut running along the side of the temple. "The water's warm," He says gently, and I close my eyes as his fingers brush against the strings holding the top of the hospital gown together, untying them first before untying the other. It slides off, falling to the ground.

The breath he sucks in tells me that I don't want to open my eyes to see what I look like without the shield of clothing to hide me. But I open my eyes anyway, and it suddenly makes so much sense on why I'm in so much pain as Hayes undresses beside me.

The patterns of bruises are horrible. It's a mixture of angry dark purple and blue that covers a large portion of skin, but that's not the worst part.

The worst part is that my small baby bump is still there. It's small enough that it looks like I'm bloating, but I know that's not what it is anymore. I feel for Hayes's hand behind me before pulling it to rest it on the bump as my lower lip trembles.

I didn't start showing until two and a half weeks ago. I thought it was bloating, but once I took the tests, it made more sense. It's been so slight that I was able to hide it from Hayes, but I wish I'd told him the moment I found out.

I feel empty inside.

I try to take a step towards the shower, and Hayes is pulled back into reality, "I'm sorry, I just got..."

"I know," I say, and he helps me into the shower. I hold onto him tightly as the warm water cascades over us. The white tiled floor is stained pink from the blood coming off of me, and I close my eyes, resting my head on Hayes's solid chest. "Thank you.'

"For what?"

"For being here."

The water hides my tears this time.

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