Ugly Fruits and Vegetables

Nadir

It's been almost six months since I accidentally punched a brick off the Wall. And since I met Aisha.

I stroke the petals of the marigold with my hideous fingers. I've always wondered how disgusting creatures like me were able to exist when something as beautiful as marigolds did as well. Were we made to offset what was good? That seemed unfair to the world.

"Que será, será..." Her voice drifts through the cracks of the Wall, tickling my ears and sending butterflies fluttering in my stomach. It still strikes me as strange that this woman has such an effect on me. The feeling is welcome though. In the midst of all the disappointment at my existence, it's nice to feel something other than anger.

The edges of my lips turn up into a smile as one of the bricks began to disappear from the Wall, leaving a gap that lets her voice pass through as clear as if she was next to me.

"Whatever will be, will be."

Before I could stop myself, my arm shoots through the gap, dragging the marigold along, and I pray to God that it gets to the other side in one piece despite my recklessness.

I hear her gasp in surprise before a sound, almost like a giggle, passes through the gap. "What's this?"

"A marigold." Mentally cursing myself for the obvious blush I could hear in my voice, I clear my throat as she plucks the flower from my fingers. I slowly take back my arm from the gap and wait with bated breath for her response.

I knew it was going to be a risk to tell her what I feel...but I need to do it. It's been almost six months of finally knowing what it feels like to want to be alive...and I want her to know that she's the reason for it.

"Why a marigold?" She whispers through the gap. "It looks like a sunset."

"Yeah...and it reminds me of you."

She scoffs at my response, eliciting a warm feeling that spreads through my chest, threatening to burn me to a crisp as I continue to wait for her to read my note.

I tried to prepare myself for all the possible outcomes of my confession: for her anger, her rejection, or maybe the sweet taste of reciprocation. Although, the latter is too much to ask for in our world.

I glance up at the sky and strain my ears to hear her reaction. My heart thumps loudly in my chest making it difficult to hear anything else... but it isn't loud enough to drown the sound of her tears.

My blood freezes in my veins. I whip around to face the Wall, smacking my palms on the rough surface, wishing it would disintegrate so I could see her. "Aisha, are you ok?"

Her cries soften into muffled sobs. I don't need to see her to know that she's trying to hide that she's crying.

"I'm sorry...I...the marigolds don't smell the best...I should've gotten roses..." I cringe at my pointless words. We both know that isn't the reason for her tears.

"Aisha -"

"You can't...I can't..." She hiccups through her tears; the sound of her hesitation slowly tears at my heart as it struggles to keep a steady beat. My head races with half-formed regrets. I want them to slow down so I can breathe, but they won't.

"Why not?" I whisper in a hollow voice.

She doesn't reply. I peek through the gap in the Wall - a jolt of fear shoots through my veins as I see her shuffling away.

Before I could control myself, my hand shoots out and grabs onto her elbow, desperately holding onto her.

She gasps at the contact and we both freeze as we realise what I've just done. Although embarrassment begins to dawn at the back of my mind, a huge part of me is overcome with giddiness at the fact that I finally touched her and that she isn't just a figment of my imagination created by my mind to numb the pain of reality.

Her skin is softer than I imagined, and I could feel heat spread up my neck as my thoughts tangle into a knot of emotions. "Aisha...please."

I lean my forehead on the wall, desperately grasping at anything to comfort her.

"You're like... an ugly vegetable." I murmur softly.

A strangled sound, a cross between shock, mortification, and confusion, travels through the gap.

The tension in the air is almost palpable and I quickly swallow the lump in my throat before I completely drive her away. "What I mean to say is...you're someone that seems like is not good for me...but you are...you are good for me - like an ugly vegetable."

I wait for her response, but I hear nothing, so I thunder on in a futile attempt to fix the situation.

"All my life I've been taught to hate women - that the reason for my pain is because of you. But it's not. Because when I'm with you...I finally feel like I know what love is meant to feel like, and why it's worth it."

The world seemed to hold its breath as she processes my words - the trees behind me stand still, their leaves frozen in anticipation, while the steady hum of life that usually travels in the Forest of Adam, ceases momentarily.

At last, she lets out a slow sigh. "You know there are a million other ways to compliment me...calling me an ugly vegetable is definitely not one."

The shock of her fingers gently prying off my hand from her elbow sends shivers down my arm.

"I'm sorry...I'm not good with words -"

"I think I'm in love with you too," She interrupts me in a rushed whisper, the words bringing a relieved smile to my lips.

But the smile doesn't last long.

She places a smooth rectangular object in my hand. "So much so that I need to stop this before we fall any deeper." The uncertainty in her voice is clear despite the logic behind her words. It's like she's also trying to convince herself that what she's saying is right.

"Because we can't, Nadir. Not now, and not here."

And with that, I hear the swift footsteps of her escape, the rectangular object in my hand feeling like the weight of the world threatening to break my fingers.

I slowly withdraw my arm back from the Wall, the sight of the strawberry-filled container momentarily shocking me out of my stupor. They were the ugliest bunch of strawberries I've ever seen.

My heart begins to ache as I pick up one of the lopsided lumps - she had de-stemmed them.

It was the little acts of kindness that made me fall in love with her; acts that people can easily overlook, yet, were conducted with so much consideration that they deserved recognition and more.

I pop the strawberry in my mouth, closing my eyes as the bittersweet flavour explodes across my tongue, along with the resolve that what Aisha said was true.

Maybe not now and not here, but some day and somewhere, we can. I'll make sure of it.