Short Stories

Sunflower

Since it was hot outside though, I took the hoodie off. My friend Cameron never looked at me that way, as he says I remind him of his cousin so he'd never see me in that type of light. I of course felt comfortable around him.

As we made our way down one of the busiest streets in town, Cameron all of a sudden busted out laughing.

"What's so funny?!" I had asked.

After he regains his composure he responds. "That guy in the tan car almost broke his neck staring at you."

He found it funny, while I was disgusted. I always felt uncomfortable with that kind of attention. I, of course, didn't voice those opinions.

"Why didn't you do something?" I then asked.

"What did you want me to do? Run after the car?" He sarcastically said.

"No, you could have blocked me from his view or something." I mumbled as a response.

We carried on home, I had also told my parents about it, but they didn't care.

"Don't lie, you like the attention." They had said.

But I didn't, I never did. Then they wonder why I stopped wearing dresses, well that was the reason. I didn't want anymore attention of that sort.

I've had worse happen, even while I was young. I prefer not to delve into that though, writing it down would be too much for me. So I'll skip it for your sake.

It was always older men that had given me that type of attention. Saying that they'd do 'naughty' things to me to my face. I was never comfortable. I stopped talking to people and became very awkward around people. I was already socially awkward, everything just intensified, even my depression.

Then my junior year in high school came around. We had new classes, meeting new students. That's where I met him, his name is Hoseok. I didn't know it at the time, but he made life bearable. He made me see the finer things in life, things we casually overlooked, things we never thought we'd notice. He did though. He showed me to appreciate everything, even the little things.

He also helped me with my school work, always encouraging me, always telling me that I'm smarter than I give myself credit for. He always seemed optimistic. I really admired that in him.

He also always stood up for me, and protected me from all the perverted people that surrounded me daily. After I'd blame myself, he'd always say it's not my fault, that I'm doing the best I can to make my family happy.

We'd hang out after school and into the evening, we'd talk about anything and everything. Our life goals, our passions, our doubts. Although it seemed his surrounded himself not being able to confront things head on. I never understood what he meant, I still don't.

But happy things always come to an end, at least it always did in my story line. He met someone. I don't blame him in anyway for anything. I blame myself.

He met someone, and she was perfect for him. They both had bubbly personalities, both always seemed to be glowing, both always seemed to shine brighter than the sun. I met her, and I actually like her too. Though, there was this aching pain in my heart seeing them together, even though I was happy for them.

I don't understand how I could have felt that way, when he's been nothing but good to me, as was she. I don't understand this jealousy that overtook my body upon seeing them hold hands, hug, and kiss. I couldn't understand that pain when seeing his eyes light up when seeing her.

I would stay up at night, wondering where these feelings were coming from. Countless sleepless nights of wondering, trying so hard to sort through my emotions that are foreign to me.

One night it became clear. It became clear when he called me out to the park nearby. It became clear when he smiled brightly when he saw my approaching form. It became clear when he wrapped me in a hug to greet me. It became oh so clear when he told me that he knows he loves her.

From that point on, I blamed myself because I didn't understand my own heart. I blamed myself, because I couldn't blame him for loving someone so perfect.

Since then, I gave up.

I gave up trying to please my parents 24/7. I gave up trying to be the perfect daughter they wanted.

In doing so, I gave up on myself.

I gave up on myself, telling myself that I'll never amount to anything. I'd tell myself that I didn't matter in this world. I'd tell myself, that I'd be better off gone.

Gone is what I will be.

I relished the days before my end. I talked to him and his girlfriend more. Taking in the love they displayed for one another. The warm smiles they'd greet me with. I relished it.

On the last day before going home, I hugged him longer than I usually did.

I also let a tear fall because I won't see his beautiful smile again.

Hoseok was so confused as to why I was crying. I just told him that I'm so happy.

I knew he didn't know my plan, how could he if I spoke of it to no one? But I truly was happy in that moment.

My end, was not because of unrequited love from a boy.

It was because of unrequited love from myself...

*･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*

The boy closed the notebook as tears graced his beautiful face.

Sirens can be heard in the distance, while the only thing the boy could hear was his heart breaking. He closes his eyes and images the girl who took her own life, who happens to be the girl he loves.

His only regret was not telling her sooner, his fear of confronting things head on held him back from his true feelings.

The sirens got closer before the doors of a car could be heard, and an officer asking for the young boys name.

"Sir, can you please tell me your name? I need your statement of what happened." The officer said.

The boy looks over at the officer and smiles brightly, his eyes glistening from his tears.

"My name is Jung Hoseok."

[Unedited]