Finding Home

One-The Cloudy Day

A lot of times, when we tell our stories, we focus on the good things. We center in around the graduations, the promotions, and the anniversaries to name a few. Mostly, it's because those are the events and days that stick out against all the other days. It's the bad things that we push to the back of our minds, try to forget, that we should remember. Because it's those things that define us. Do we crumble under the sadness and pain, or do we stand strong and put on a brave face? Do we let it eat us alive, not telling a soul, or do we share our turmoil, letting others in? This is what we should realize, and tell our stories.

Because everybody has one.

The week of August 11th started like any other one. I woke up, 6:00 AM, and headed to the bathroom to get ready. I heard people rustling around downstairs, and that would be my little brother, Spencer. I heard my dad laughing, probably wrestling with Spencer. I ignored it and continued my routine. It consisted of deciding on what I should do with my hair, and if I should put an effort in to try and look decent. I decided to put my hair into two french braids, throw a blue, red and black flannel and some black leggings on. Something that could be perceived as looking presentable, but nothing too dressy. I made my way downstairs, my backpack slung across my back. Spencer was laughing, being chased by my older brother, Andy. I rolled my eyes, but I was laughing a bit too.

"Dad's already left?" I asked nobody in particular. Andy finished chasing Spencer around to answer me.
"Yeah, a few minutes ago." He said, somewhat out of breath. He pushed his spruce brown hair out of his face, revealing his bold blue eyes that contrasted his hair. He was a near perfect twin of my mom, same face, hair color, eye color. I, Spencer and my dad looked more alike, we had slimmer noses and hazel eyes, a mix of warm sunlight and the earthy brown color that appeared after rain. Our hair was all pretty much the same color, mine a bit lighter than my brothers' and dad's, my hair is what I had in common with my mom. I heard something pop out of the toaster, I rushed to grab it before anyone else did.

"Hey!" The high-pitched voice of Spencer came from behind me, and I stuffed the pop tart in my mouth so he couldn't eat it. "I was making that!"

"Ya snooze, ya lose buddy." I playfully rubbed the top of his head, then pushed him away from me. He rolled his eyes at me.

"We're going to see mom after school, I don't know what's up, we usually don't see her Mondays," Andy said, trying to catch my line of eyesight, avoiding Spencer's. He was worried, I could tell. His voice wasn't as steady as it usually was. It wasn't enough for Spencer to realize anything, but enough for me to take notice. That's exactly what he wanted. I nodded in acknowledgment, making it known I saw his concern. I glanced at my phone, then walked out the door, a signal to Andy to hurry up. He was also in high school, but Spencer was still in elementary. Andy was a junior, I was a freshman, and Spencer was in 4th grade. Andy usually drove us to school, dropping off Spencer, then parking and letting me out. That's what we did every morning, the same routine. I thought this week would be just another one, the same old thing.

I was very wrong.

I walked into school, Andy beside me, making sure I found my friends okay.

"I'll see you later Valerie," He said, realizing I saw my friends. I saw Sophia, my closest friend, and waved Andy goodbye. She was very pretty, dark brown hair and pale blue eyes. I also saw Bryce, my boyfriend of about 1 year. He was a lot taller than me, a little lanky, but not too much. He had light brown hair and green eyes. I sat at our regular table, waiting for the bell to ring to signal us to go to class.

"Hey Val, you ready for that huge test in math?" Sophia asked. Bryce, for whatever reason, looked very uncomfortable and anxious. His eyes kept flitting back and forth from mine to people at another table. I couldn't really focus on anything else but that, but I answered Sophia's question.

"I guess. I didn't study a ton, but I think I'm ready. How about you Bryce?" He snapped back to me when I said his name.

"W-What? Sorry, just distracted."

"I asked how you felt about the test today...?"

"Um, yeah, I'm ready... listen, I'll talk to you later, okay?" He got up and left. I was confused.

"What's up with Bryce?" I asked Sophia, her watching him with startling focus.

"I don't really know. I figured you'd know."

"No, actually, I talked to him Saturday, and he seemed okay." I looked back to where he had walked off to, trying to get inside his head. The bell rang soon after, signaling our first class. I walked to it, nothing on my mind but how weird Bryce was acting. I was distracted and distant, and when I tried to talk to Bryce, he ignored me and blew me off. I was mad, but I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he has family stuff going on, maybe friend stuff. But why would he keep it from me, his girlfriend? After school, Andy drove us to go see my mom in the hospital. My mom has been fighting pancreatic cancer for about a year now, only these past couple of weeks she's been hospital bound. That's why my dad is here. My parents are divorced, have been since I was 9, and my brothers and I live with my mom, so my dad has been watching us while my mom is in the hospital. It's been hard, especially these past weeks, and this whole Bryce-ignoring-me thing has not made it easier. We entered the rubbing alcohol smelling building, nurses and doctors walking everywhere. My dad talked to the woman that we were here to see my mom, and they lead us to the back of the hospital where she was. She was laying in a bed, white hospital robe and everything. The treatment made her hair fall out, but her eyes were as bright as ever, shining and full of hope. I felt small and unimportant when seeing her because she was just so strong.

"Hi, mom."

"Hi honey, how are you?" She asked as I leaned in to hug her. She felt weak and sick. That feeling made my stomach turn, I had only ever seen her strong.

"I'm good, how are you?"

"I'm okay. Pulling through." I smiled, though I was tearing up. Her eyes were the most hopeful thing about her. Everything else was frail and sickly. My brothers talked to her, Spencer was trying to be strong, but deep down we knew something wasn't right. I glanced at Andy, who was staying about as strong as I was.

"Kids, do you mind waiting outside for a minute while I talk to your mom?" We obeyed, walking out. I stayed back a little, Andy and Spencer in front of me. I heard their conversation while trying to listen to what my mom and dad were talking about.

"Andy, is mom going to be okay?" Spencer asked, making my heart wrench. I hope so, Spencer.

"Yeah, Spence." I hung back a little, trying to hear anything my mom and dad were saying. I couldn't hear anything, and I was kind of glad I didn't.

The next day, I didn't feel like dealing with everything that happened with Bryce. I hoped everything would be okay, I tried texting him last night but he didn't reply. I found him when I walked in, he came up to me, wanting to talk.

"Hey, Val. Can we talk?"