Fishanity (#PlanetOrPlastic)

On my vacation to Bali I expected to find lots of things, but I most certainly did not expect to find a blowfish trapped in a plastic bag, ineffectively trying to get out of its cage.

It had swollen up completely, not realising that the bigger it made itself, the more trouble it would have getting out. Its spikes had torn through the tight bag and it seemed like it was getting choked.

To be honest, it looked a little ridiculous; but I could sense its distress. When it noticed me, I was floating there, in scuba gear, watching the spectacle it put up.

I imagined I saw a plea in its eyes, but I couldn't be sure.

For a few moments, it just blinked, opening and closing it's mouth like an imbecile.

Then it swam towards me.

Taken aback with fear, I recoiled and tried to swim away, but it was faster. It circled around me, forcing me to stand still or be impaled by its spikes.

'Help me.'

A voice sounded in my mind. Startled, like a fool I looked at the fish, thinking it was responsible for my hallucination. But it was still opening and closing its mouth like an imbecile.

'Help me, limbfish. Show some fishanity!'

'Am I going mad?' I remembered all those times I had forgotten to say my prayers.

'I would say yes, since you seem incapable of understanding simple finglish.'

'Yep, I'm mad. Talking to a stupid fis-'

'Be careful what you say, limbfish!' It looked at me with reproachful eyes and huffed, 'Now, get me outa this crap you careless limbfish throw into our homes.'

I thought what the hell, if a fish was insulting humans, I could throw it right back at its stupid blob face.

'Careful what you say, fish. I'm the only one who can free you right now.'

'Blah-blah, since you seem to have regained your senses, get me out of here!'

'You want me to help you?'

'Did I stutter?'

'Remember what I said.'

'Whatever.'

'First, you'll have to get thinner-'

'You have a problem with my weight, missy?' It bit at me sharply, looking a little hurt.

What a ridiculous fish.

'I can hear you.'

'Blow out that water and get smaller if you want to get out- and retract your claws.'

'Fish don't have claws, foolish finless being.'

'I can't believe that I'm being discriminated against for not having fins.' I humphed.

'Meh, life's cruel.' But it blew out the water till it could get out, the only problem was- the plastic was stuck onto it's spikes.

'Stay still so I can get you out.'

Slowly I tore the plastic away till the fish was free. It swam around some more, staring at me.

'Maybe all humans aren't that foolish, just tell the stupid ones to clear up the mess they've made.'

Before I could react he was out of my sight.

'Toodles!'

That was the last I heard of it.